Hate that I love you (An Ashton Irwin fanfic)

Chapter 43

I didn't know how to feel about going home to be honest. So I decided to not think about it until I had to.

On Monday I worked harder in class than I ever had in my whole life, it was the distraction from my thoughts that I needed.

I did the same all week and as well as distracting me, it also helped.

'Well done Jade' my teacher said, handing me back a test.

When I turned the sheet over it had "50/50" Wow I had gotten full marks. This had never happened. I was actually really proud of myself. I quickly took a picture of the grades and sent it to my mum and at the last minute also sent it to Ashton, I wanted everyone to see how well I'd done.

My mum replied not too long after saying how proud she was of me. It made me smile to see that I had actually made my mum proud.

Again, it took Ashton a few hours to reply. Recently it was the normal thing to expect, he never text me back straight away anymore. But when he did he also said he was extremely proud of me.

If I carried on doing this well in class then I'd hopefully come out with a grade good enough to be proud of myself that makes up for all the shit that has gone down since I got here.

'Hey, what time are you going home on Friday?' Hazel asked as I walked into the kitchen

'Erm. Not sure yet, not even spoke to my mum about it. Why?'

'Its just, a few of us are going for a quick coffee after the last lesson and Ashley asked if you were going'

'Oh' I said 'That's strange'

'I know he can't say or do anything but he still likes you'

'Still?' I said

'He has for a long time. I only started talking to him a few weeks ago and as soon as I mentioned that you were my room mate, he didn't shut up about you. No offence' she laughed

'Oh shit, you didn't tell him what room we're in did you?' I asked nervously

'Do you think I'm an idiot?' She laughed 'So what do you say? You in?'

I thought about it for a few seconds. Although it was a 'quick coffee' it meant a longer time away from my mum and Ashton.

'I understand if you don't want to. You don't have to' said Hazel, waiting for my response.

'I think I'll just go home. Sorry' I said after deep consideration

'No don't be sorry' she smiled.

Why did I have to think about it? A few months ago I would have rejected in seconds because I wanted to see Ashton.

I was worried about my feelings and emotions towards the whole situation. I kept telling myself that Ashton was right and everything was going to be okay and get better soon but there was still something there that questioned it; that worried me a lot.

I phoned my mum on Wednesday to ask her what time she was coming on Friday

'Well what time do you finish darling?' She asked

'I finish at one but I mean, you obviously don't have to come straight away. I'm not rushing you' I said

'No I'll be there for one' she said happily 'I want to see my daughter'

'Okay mummy' I smiled 'I'll have to go now. Love you, bye'

I wondered to myself if I'd be seeing Ashton straight away when I got home or if I'd wait a few hours of even if I'd wait for the next day. It all depended on if and when he'd reply to me.