We all sat on the sofa me and Keith with the twins in between us. Zootopia had just finished.
'I should get going.' Keith said getting up. But then there was lightening and the kids screamed.
'Shhh it's ok.' I said holding their hands. The thunder grumbled and it was soon raining cats and dogs outside. There was some more lightening this time shanking the house and the lights went out. The kids screamed hugging my legs I picked them both up each on my hip Keith got out his phone putting on the flashlight so we could see.
'My phones about to die though.'
'Alright turn the flash off and preserve your battery.'
He did so
'Mommy I'm scared.' Kai squeezed me tight.
'Ri buried his face in my neck.'
'Can you take him.' I asked Keith and he took kaare out of my arms. The thunder grumbled and Kai started crying
'Momma make it stop.'
'I can't it's the Weather.'
'But, but I can't see.' She protested.
The kids cried for a little while and my arms were aching so I tried to put her down but Kai wrapped her legs around me squeezing my neck I went to the couch in the dark slowly avoiding anything I could bump into.
'Ahh fuck.' I said in pain as I felt myself step on a Lego.
'You good.' I heard Keith ask as he went walked in front of me.
'I stepped on something.' I said. Over Kaidence's whining.
'Kaare's asleep by the way.'
'Okay.'
I felt myself sit on someone and yelped. Shit, I felt Keith's member right under me. He grunted.
'Sorry.' I said awkwardly.
'You good.' He said sounding slightly restrained. I got off of him and Kaidence was screaming when another lightening beam flashed through the house. Kaidence screamed
'Kaidence Chill.' I felt her body shaking on mine.
I stroked her back and started singing to her whilst rocking us back and fourth.
'You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.you make me happy when skies are grey...' She started to get quieter.
'...Then you won't take my sunshine away.'I said kissing her head.' I assumed she was sleeping because I heard her soft breathing on my shoulder.
'I love you.' I whispered in her ear. There was a peaceful silence as I stared off into the darkness.i was interrupted by some grown man snores.
'Keith?' I said. His snores stopped when he heard me.
'Yeah?' He said in his husky voice.
'Was you sleeping?'
'Nah, you just got a pleasurable voice.'
'Thanks.'
Keith
'They sleeping in your bed?' I asked curiously.
'Yeah.' She responded.
We got under the covers still holding them. I still can't believe it. I got kids. Twins. A little girl with freckles who looks like me and boy who has the same smiling face as his mother. Damn, I haven't seen her smile in a minute. I laid down looking into the darkness.
And a question popped into my head.
'Nash?'
'Hmm?'
'Are you scared of me?' I asked she was hesitant and I could hear her heart beating through her t shirt. That was enough for me.
'Okay then.' I said sucking the inside of my cheek. I was heartbroken but,what could I do I know that shit will probably haunt her for the rest of her life. I know my guilt will.
'I'm so sorry if there's-.' I paused when I heard sniffles I turned my head in that direction.
'Are you crying?' I said screwing my brows.
'No.' She said wobbly. What the fuck do I do? I twiddled with my fingers. Well if she says she's not crying then she's not, right. I heard her sniff more.
Maybe she just got a lil cold. I rolled my eyes to myself, I can't just ignore her like that. I crawled over to her dodging the sleeping twins. We sat up as I held her in my arms and she cried into the side of my neck. I rubbed her back soothingly as the rain hammered down on the windows outside. I rocked us side to side and she calmed down a little bit. Poor tink was shaking. I whispered in her ear
'I'm so sorry babygirl.'
She slowly got out from the crook of my neck I felt her presence close because she was breathing on my cheek.
'What?' I said rubbing her back as she sat next to me.
'I wanna be mad at you but I can't.' I stayed silent so she continued.
'It was like when i took my kids home for the first time, I couldn't stop smiling.'
'How was it?' I asked curious.
'What?'
'The pregnancy. I mean were they born healthy? What day were they born? Just tell me everything from when you find out right up until you gave birth.' I said she shone her flashlight from her phone and walked towards a bookcase pulling out a thick red picture book. She smiled at me holding the book in the air and I returned the smile. She came back to the bed and opened up the picture book.
Nash
I pulled the pregnancy test out of sleeve passing it to Keith. His eyes glossed over it analysing the two lines. And that same smile appeared on his face like it always does when he's happy. He looks through all the pictures watching my baby bump grow bigger.
He saw one where I had Gotten inside my womb on the outside of my belly showing the triplets and their umbilical cords, drawn in coloured oil paints.
He looked at the 3D altrasounds next to it. I had wrote Kaare under one Kaidence under another and that read Kairo. He looked at me already asking a question that I wasn't ready to answer. I looked down putting some hair behind my hair.
'I was pregnant with triplets, 2 boys: Kaare and Kairo. Then Kaidence. Kairo was the eldest. Born first.'
'They told me all three were healthy and everything was fine through the pregnancy but, when he was born..'
My eyes started watering thinking about my loss.
'The chord was wrapped around his neck and the doctors tried to revive him but.' I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders letting the tears fall. I got up going into my wardrobe getting the little blue box my hands shook as I held it passing it to Keith to broken to even look at it. He opened the box and a tear slipped down his face his eyebrows thurrowed. The image of the little blue blanket and shoes with his ultrasound flossed my mind like a black polluted cloud.
I could tell he was finding it hard to compose himself so I embraced him in a hug rubbing his back as we comforted each other.
'I should've been there.'
'Your here now.'
'Nah but I should've supported you.' He cried harder grabbing onto my tee shirt as he bawled into my chest.
'I should've been there through the pregnancy I should've been there when they were born I should've been there to help you.'
'Keith, your here now.'
'Just promise me you won't go this time.'
'I promise.' He squeezed me tight and I kissed his forehead.
