Struggles

Bullied!

I used to get bullied at a young age. It is still carved inside my head.

It was harsh and I was so young, I couldn't but keep it to myself.

She said I was her friend just because we had classes together. We had fun and she kept advising me, I loved her actually. She was fun and adorable at first.

Then she found another friend..
She loved her truly this time. I started to get zoned out.

I don't know, was I not good enough for her? Or was that girl better than me? And better at what?

Besides, it was not only like that. She started to tell our friends how evil and selfish I was.. I did her nothing evil!

She started to tell me how people around me hated me and that she was the only one who loved me. I believed her. She was my only friend.

But she treated me as a dog! Whenever she needed me, she started to tell me these toxic pieces of advice that caused me nothing but great suffering. Whenever she needed that other friend, she started to tell people how untrue friend I was, how selfish and in desperate need of attention I was. I was never like that.

I was that pure girl that needed nothing but a true friend. I thought she was one, but she caused me despair..

She even set people towards me, one of the girls was so jumpy she used to tell me in the face that I caused the girls problems just because that untrue friend said I did!

Now I am so old I can never forgive her. How can I forgive her when she caused me such unbearable pain at a young age?

How can I ever forgive her when she was the reason I had no friends at a very delicate age?

How can I ever forgive someone who hurt me deeply and gave me the first lesson of my life- to hardly trust anyone!

It is impossible to forgive you my dear.

It is impossible.