Struggles

Yes it hurts!

"Does is hurt when you touch it?" .
"Oh dear, what's that on your arm?".
"How did you get these scars?"

You know what, I am fed up of lying. Yes I cut myself.
I have been doing this since I was a kid and I can't stop. I don't know how to.

I tend to hide it but whenever it is seen I start to get judged.
It is like I have killed somebody.
I know it is not the rightest thing to do but you know nothing, you literally know nothing.

You know nothing of the sexual harassment I was subjected to. I can't even talk about it.
I can't even think how young I was when I first started to hear comments on my shape. I don't even feel so beautiful yet they were always commenting, commenting, commenting!
It never stopped. I never stopped thinking of it. I will never do.

Dude it is so harsh and fierce that your own family shame your body.

You pretty surely know nothing about my family. You know nothing of how my parents treated each other, how did it make me feel or how it still makes me feel.
You know, it is like you are pretty little in the world. You can't defend your own mother against your own father who suddenly turned into a monster. You can't defend yourself from your own brother who is affected by what he sees from his own parent.
You can do nothing, you just shut the hell up. Darn it man, it is so hard on me.

You may know nothing about my friends who made fun of me just because I was more creative.
It makes you feel like absolutely hell. I know I am better but yet I feel like I am the worst, I am the looser, I am the failure.

I know I was never a failure, it just feels like it, and hell yes it hurts.

And excuse me but asking me about the scars also hurts if you didn't see it. Why don't you just shut up? Who are you to judge or even ask?
You know the truth so don't act like you don't!
You can guess what is behind these white thick straps, you can pretty sure you know if it hurts if I press on them.

You just can never know how it feels like. You will never feel it, cause simply your skin is thick and your heart is greasy.

That's the truth of ya'll.