Struggles

A cup of coffee.

Sigh. I don't know where to start.

The first time I saw the love of my life was when I had completed twenty years old. It was a basic café when I was with some friends, she was sitting there, sipping coffee, glancing at a newly purchased book she said afterwards when I asked her she had just bought it at that time.
You won't be surprised to know I left my friends to go talk to her when you know I was jealous she was looking at the book with her ocean eyes instead of looking at me.

"You know what, I am not the type who flirts, would you go out with me sometime?"
Those were the first words I said after gazing at her for a minute or two while she was being confused but not annoyed.

She agreed to go on a date with me, anyhow.

I won't go in the detail of our first date, I will get straight to the point, it was the best year of my life.

She was a thrilling person and I just wished I had known her for longer times. She was like a double scooped ice-cream cup, with a personality scoop even tastier than the first one, which was her eyes I used to fall for every time.

Sadly, that went down to hell. That's not the point anyhow.

On my fourty-one's birthday, after recalling no relationship I had ever been through except hers, I received a text message.

It was a brief one.

"I am Pam. I can't believe I am texting you".
"I can relate", I replied.
"How is everything?"

It was like nothing changed. She was still sweet as honey, and I was still thrilled.
Yet this time, something changed.
After 40 years of being unhappily single, remembering nothing but her, I should be more assured that we could be together.
The truth is, she was just texting an old friend.

She was happily married and had two wonderful children. I was still single and I didn't move on since I was twenty-one.

"You, we should get some coffee, some time". She said willingly.
"Oh..yes.. we surely do".

The thing is, I never texted back telling her to go.

I am now seventy-two and I am not alone. I have my utterly faithful wife whom I deeply care for.

I know no one will ever take Pam's place in my heart.
That didn't mean I should've tortured myself with a cup of coffee.