Beaten & Bruised

Baby sister

After everything was said and done, the guys and I agreed to just get on the bus and go to a hotel for the night instead of going out and partying since it always ended badly.

We got three rooms side by side, with connecting doors so if we wanted we could all celebrate the ending of this amazing tour together. Kendall must have been tired because as soon as we got to the room he crashed on top of the bed.

I wasn't tired, I had to much on my mind and the more i thought about getting married the more i was worrying myself over stupid little things. Like I would have to learn how to cook his favorite things, and remember to dry clean his clothes, and just unbelievably stupid things. When James knocked on the door.

"Hey baby sister, you wanna walk and maybe talk?" He said looking at me with his hands in his pockets. I wasn't going to lie it was nice to be able to still have someone in my life that cared enough about me to worry over me like he did, I just wanted him to realize he was my brother and not my dad... and his opinion does mean something I hold it at the ultimate standard but he had to accept the fact that I was growing up and I wasn't his "baby" sister anymore.

"Yeah just let me grab my sweater" I said also going over to give Kendall a peck on the cheek before I left. I didn't leave him a note, I didn't think I had to. So hopefully he wouldn't be mad when I got back.

"What's up?" I said wrapping my sweater around my back and sliding my arms into its sleeves.

"I just wanted to talk to you that's all... the past few weeks, (Months) have been a little rocky.." he said opening the door of the main lobby entrance so we could go outside.

I shrugged my shoulders "it is what it is.." I said with a melancholy sneer he put both of his hands together and held them close to his mouth to where it looked like he was praying.

"I know I come off overbearing sometimes... and i know I'm not your dad. I need to learn to separate the two but can't you just see that I'm trying to protect you?" He said with his lips still pressed together.

I understood completely why he was acting the way he was with me and I didn't hate him for it. I just wanted him to see me as his little sister who is a woman now, not the little sister he had to hold the hand of while crossing the street.

I nodded before I answered because I was trying to find the right words to say to not make him upset at me.

"I know that you are and I appreciate it so much!! I just wish you would know me well enough to know that I am capable of making decisions for myself and if I'm not given the chance to make the wrong ones how will I ever learn from them bubba?" I said when he took a seat in the lounge chair next to me.

It was nice the both of us being able to speak freely with one another without the other one being so angry and without worrying about Kendall flying off the handle.

"I know, I know.. I forget your not a child anymore... I just want what's best for you. I want to save you from those wrong choices before you make them... but I know you need to learn for yourself I just dont want to see you hurt Tin"
He said calling me by my goofy nickname he used to call me as a child, since I had always been smaller he used to call me Tiny Tin.

"I understand James, but you cant protect me from feeling pain... your not superman" I said with a laugh making him laugh a little too.

He nodded and came over to me and gave me a big tight hug. "I'm sorry. I'll work on my overprotective behavior, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop worrying about you. Your the only sister I got, and I'm not gonna just pretend like you don't exist."

He said, it did make me feel good knowing he was just doing what he only knew how to do protect me, because nobody else ever did.... I couldn't be angry at him for showing me the only guidance I've ever learned. I know it had to be hard on him all these years having to be a parent and a big brother to me, I needed to give him the benefit of the doubt.

I think the talk made us both a little emotional because I could hear a couple of sniffles come from his way, in the midst of mine.

I quickly changed the subject to something else so maybe it would make him or I both feel better, but I have a problem about not thinking before speaking and I may have said the wrong thing at the wrong time.