Beaten & Bruised

Anxiously Awaiting

As James and I wrapped up a seemingly meaningless conversation, seeing as all I did was lie again we headed down towards the Casino to catch up with everybody. Though the closer we got the more guilty I felt. The lies, the betrayal of the people around me I cared about. I was losing touch with myself and It scared me that Kendall had the control over me he did without even trying but at this point I had given up all hope of finding happiness again.

Once I made it to the floor my eyes locked simultaneously with Logan's as if he had waited in that exact spot for me. If only just to get a glimpse of me before Kendall noticed. I tried not to smile but Logan made me feel good, different. And I guess I always knew that but was to blind to truly see that he would literally go to war for me if need be, because that's just the kind of guy he was. Now I don't know if it was the sudden spark that emerged between the two of us randomly or the fact he always knew we secretly cared for eachother the way we did but when Kendall's eyes scanned the crowds of people and saw mine locking with someone else's everything around him went black and all he could see was red.

I felt an angry presence as my eyes shifted to Kendall's on the far left side of me. His face was beat red and I could almost see the veins in the temple of his forehead from the anger he let get the best of him. Only this time it was much more sinister, I felt as if the devil himself were looking me in the face and I couldn't run from him, nor could I scream for help. I felt paralyzed and trapped and I knew only the worst could come from this.

I caught myself tugging on edge of my shirt as I briefly looked to find Logan again but he was gone. By the time my head moved to find where Kendall was it was to late, he was beside me with my arm in his tight grip squeezing tighter the more he looked at me with disgust. "Kendall please. My brother is here so is everyone else. Please don't make a scene, please" I pleaded only feeling his grip re-adjust from his sweaty palms as he moved me towards the corner of the staircase out of the view of everyone. Once he saw James was nowhere near he open faced slapped me across the face. Making the sound of his hand echo.

I lost all control as the tears fell and the sting from the blood to my cheek made me cry out in pain. I could feel my body shaking because of how scared I felt. I just wanted to die. As awful as it sounded at that point in time I just wanted to feel no more pain. "Do you think im fucking stupid!? Huh? Do you!" Kendall shouted shaking me by my wrists as he shoved me up the stairs with such an intensity it made me fall to my knees more than once. People near when I would catch a glimpse would stare but that was it. They didn't interfere and it made me feel powerless as if it didn't matter because they just let it happen just as much as I did. Once we got to the middle of the high stairs Kendall grabbed me at my shoulders and maneuvered me towards the wall where he slammed my body so hard I let out an earth shattering scream. I knew I shouldn't have he always hit me more when I made noise but I felt as if someone had snapped my back with a leather whip.

Just before I was maneuvered towards the metal railing in the middle of the stairs I heard someone say my name. It was James he had to of heard me scream. He knew my voice, just as I found my eyes searching for him or anyone that would help me I felt the floor come from under me and a sudden lack of balance take over as Kendall pushed me roughly making me tumble down the stairs. Then, only then did the number of people around start to make it their business as they all gasped and looked at me and then Kendall and then back at me... and all I remember was the sound of James's voice and his shadow meeting my body at the foot of the stairs and Carlos and Logan running up towards Kendall to A, see what had happened or B, kill him one... at this point as much as I loved him and felt even more stupid for doing so... I wished for him to feel something as horrible as the way he had made me feel. I felt myself drift in and out of consciousness until all I could see was darkness.