Freedom (An Avengers Fanfiction)

Forgiveness

Anna and I looked up at the cloudy night sky. 

"Okay, another question. Do you think Mr. Stark would help us if his fiance wasn't killed by an inhuman?" she asked. 

"I don't know, but either way, he deserves happiness," I sighed. That night we had basically just talked. It was nearly sunrise, but we didn't want to leave. Then I began coughing. Coughing and coughing. It was as if someone had suddenly lit my lungs on fire. 

"Everest? Everest?" Anna began, "What's happening?!"

There was once again darkness. Bubbles got caught in my throat as if it was overwhelming. These feelings were overwhelming. Finally, one bubble came out of my mouth. It was a dark blue. It reminded me of the night sky in the forest. I quickly grasped it in my two hands. 

It grasped onto me as if it were a spider and I was a fly. It stuck onto my arms like glue. I felt caged like a bird in these sudden emotions. I screamed and screamed until I was in a literal cage. 

"Please!" I yelled involuntarily, but it was no longer my voice. It was much more masculine and raggedy. I looked down at my hands. They were much bigger and covered in calyces. Not to mention my skin tone was much more tanned. Then I looked at my clothing. I was wearing a tailored grey suit and expensive looking shoes. 

I looked around this cage surrounded by darkness to see if I could find something else. I reached a corner of this cage filled with regret to see a small girl my age crouched into the corner. She had long chestnut brown hair and pale skin. 

No, this girl wasn't just my age, she was me! I could hear her sob. 

"I hate myself! I hate myself!" she yelled, "I killed so many people! I hate myself! I hate myself!" 

I looked at her knowing that those words were true. "Mr. Stark?" she asked, "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm the reason your crying right now!" Crying? What was she talking about? I put a hand to my cheek and surely enough, it was wet with salty tears. I looked at her and lifted her chin. 

"I forgive you," I said. She lunged at me, embracing me in a tight warm hug. Forgiving yourself was the key. I had just forgiven myself. Before you can't forgive others until you forgive yourself first. 

"Mr. Stark, you need to forgive yourself," I spoke. It was back to my voice. I thought long and hard. I thought long and hard about Mr. Stark. How was he supposed to evolve and grow new relationships if he couldn't just like himself? How was he supposed to find new love? How was he supposed to make the family he so desired? 

I can't be responsible for others' feelings and emotions. Before I can save Mr. Stark, he has to forgive himself. 

Midnight blue: The Color for Regret

Grass Green: The Color for Forgiveness

I awoke to see Anna panicking above me. "W-what happened?" she asked. Her face was as white as a ghost's. I probably scared the living hell out of her. 

"I'm fine. Don't worry about it," I said with a glum smile, "We should probably head back inside."

I thought back on my promise to Mr. Stark that I would save him as we walked. Even though it probably meant nothing to him, I still would like to keep my promise. 

For all I know, he could be relying on me to keep my worthless promise. 

We walked into our shared dorm. "Where the hell were you two?!" Jazzy yelled at us. She immediately pulled us into a tight hug. 

"Anna needed to talk, and we didn't want to wake you guys," I explained. 

"You can't just do that now! You're a leader now!" Leslie harshly whispered, "So many people depend on you now!"

"I know, I know. Don't remind me," I sighed, "I'll need someone to take my chores today. There's a lot of extra planning and stuff I have to do if we're going to be leaving in a couple of days." 

I may have also needed to talk to Mr. Stark. Most would advise me not to, but he needed to know that there is still hope. That I still have hope for him. 

"I'll do them in between classes," Leslie said, "You just make sure that you get stuff done." She put a hand on my shoulder. I nodded. 

I was a leader now. I couldn't get caught up in simple chores at a time like this. 

...

We all got ready for the day like we normally would. Brushing our teeth, brushing our hair, getting dressed, etc. 

"You've got the list?" I asked Leslie. 

"Yes, stop worrying about," Leslie reassured me. We all walked out the door in different directions. I was, of course, heading toward Mr. Stark's office. You could tell I was nervous from a mile away. The way I'd glance all around me. The way I was shaking profusely. How I took the smallest unsure steps like I was testing the waters. 

Then, I saw his door. "Mr. Stark, I would like to chat," I said as I opened the door. 

"Why? Why are you here?" he asked as he looked at me with cold eyes. 

"I-I wanted to talk to you about the promise I made to you over break,"  I stuttered. 

"You're wasting your time because I don't remember it," he sighed in annoyance. 

I sighed, "Then I'll have to remind you." I sat down in the chair in front of his desk. 

"What did I tell you about what that chair is for?" he asked as he furrowed his eyebrows. 

"Yeah, but it's not like I'm any different from you," I stated, "We both have dead parents, both have dead loved ones... both can't ever really fully forgive themselves." 

"I promise I will save you, it just might take longer than I expected," I said, "That's all. Goodbye."