Is This for Real

Chapter 43: Choices

TORI'S POV

I couldn't move; I felt like the room was closing in on me. I felt tears prick the back of my eyes and quickly ran to my room. Once I got there, I fell on the bed and put my pillow to my face. No sooner than I did that, I felt the pillow growing damp. How could he do this? We just got off our break. He even called me beautiful on Friday. Why? Why would Chaz do this to me?

"Tori?" someone asked from the behind my bedroom door. I immediately registered the voice to be Caitlin's. "Can I come in?"

"N-No," I sobbed, my voice coming out shaky from the crying.

"We're leaving in an hour, just so you know," she told me.

"Okay," I squeaked out, hopefully loud enough for her to hear. When I heard footsteps walking away from my door, I knew she'd heard.

"I can't do this anymore," I numbly whispered to myself. "I just can't." Then, I put my face back into my pillow, preparing for another round of sobs.

Just as the tears came, my phone rang. I picked it up, praying that it wasn't Chaz. To my surprise, it was actually Taylor. "Hello?" I asked through my sobs.

"Hey Tori," she said. "I saw the stuff on the news about Chaz. I've been through stuff like this before and I know it helps to write about it; use these feelings to your advantage."

"Or to get your mind off of dirt like him. Selena and I are going to be in Atlanta for the week because she has a show for her Kiss And Tell tour. We could go shopping sometime or just hang out, whatever you want to do.

"Hold on Tori. I'm getting a text." After fifteen seconds, Taylor came back. "Sel just texted me and said that Demi, as in Demi Lovato, will be with us too because Demi's opening for her."

"Okay," I said monotonously. "Thanks. I'll text you or Selena with a day that I can go."

"Okay. And Tori, don't let a guy get you down. You're one hundred times better than he is."

"Thanks Taylor," I said, a smile slowly starting to creep up on my lips.

"Anytime." I looked at the clock. We have to leave in half an hour and I still haven't eaten breakfast of packed my stuff.

"I need to go. I got to be at the airport in half an hour."

"Okay. See you later alligator."

"Bye Taylor," I said, letting out a minuscule giggle. It was tiny, but it was there. Then, I hung up and began to pack.

I quickly ate a bowl of cereal after I'd finished packing. Then, I went to the bathroom. After I was finished, I washed my hands and dried them. That's when I looked in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy, there were also tear stains on my face. As my eyes traveled the length of my body in the mirror, they stopped at my stomach.

Ew. I thought. Why am I so fat? My eyes traveled back up to my face. Why am I so ugly? That's probably why Chaz broke up with me. I wasn't pretty enough for him. That girl he was making out with is probably a size zero, has no acne, and has straight or curly hair. Unlike me. Who is in a size that's not zero, gets blemishes, and has wavy, frizzy hair.

I rinsed my face off with cold water in hopes that it would take some of the redness away and the tear stains would go away. I dabbed my face dry with a towel then walked out.

I grabbed my toiletry case so that I could wash my face, brush my teeth, and brush my hair. If I'm lucky, I might be able to get some frizz out. No luck. I grabbed a few ponytail holders and twisted my hair into a messy bun on top of my head. I said goodbye to my grandparents while giving them each a hug. After that, I walked over to my things and put them in the car.