Is This for Real

Chapter 49: Smile

TORI'S POV

When I got in my bedroom, all common sense was lost. I began screaming through my tears, wondering why all of this was happening to me.

After about ten minutes of doing that, my voice was so hoarse that I just sat with my head in my hands, tears flowing down my cheeks. A knock on my door was heard. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and opened the door. It was Pattie.

"Oh, Tori. You're so much better than that boy. And he needs to realize that," she told me as she pulled me into an embrace.

"I know. It's just," I took a deep breath. "It's just that I'm trying to put myself back together, but with him around every turn, I- I can't."

"What do you mean you're trying to put yourself back together?" she asked.

Not wanting to have a huge discussion about my feelings at 12:30 at night, I did the only thing that I could think of. "It's nothing. Just forget I said anything."

"Hun, you can tell me. What do you mean?" she pressured. I have no idea what to do. I've already told her most of it, do I tell her all of it?

"It's nothing," I replied, wanting to keep this to myself. I just want my privacy, I want to be alone.

"I don't believe you. But I know you don't want to explain all of this right now, so we'll talk tomorrow. Well since it's already midnight, I guess we'll talk later today."

I hugged her and she walked out of my room. I took off my dress and jacket then put on some polka dotted pajama pants and a pink tank top. When I was just about to go into my bathroom to wash my makeup off, a knock on my door stopped me. I sighed and crutched my way over to it.

When I opened my door, I was surprised to see Austin standing there. "Hey," he said nonchalantly.

"Hi," I said. Why is he here? I thought he would've left already. Did people even leave my house yet?

"Uh, I came to see how you were doing," he stated.

"I'm fine," I lied. That would be something Chaz would've said to me, I thought. My heart broke at the thought of him. How could he cheat on me and then say those things to me?

"No you're not," he said. How can he know what I'm thinking?

"How do you--" I couldn't finish my sentence because Austin abruptly cut me off.

"I can see it in your eyes," he said. "You're not fine. And your smile, that's fake."

I went over to my bed and sat down. "How could you know that?" I asked, stunned.

"Because," Austin began, "when we were playing twenty questions the other night, you were happy. And the smile that you were wearing, that smile was real. It wasn't the fake one that you had to put on in front of paparazzi. It wasn't the fake one that you had to put on when you didn't want people to ask questions. That smile Tori, was real. And I'd be lying if I said that your smile wasn't beautiful."

"Thanks, but I don't know when that smile will reappear. Austin, I- I'm broken." My conscious was screaming at me, asking me why I was opening up to him when I'd only met him a week and a half ago.

"You're not broken. You're just crooked, trying to bend yourself back to the way that you used to be."

"Austin," I began, taking interest now in the blanket on my bed instead of him, "it's not that simple."

"I will do anything to prove to you that, that real smile will come back. I will do anything to see that smile again."

"Thanks for caring, but--"