Just Friends? (Jammie)

XVIII - The Healing

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It's fascinating how lively the darkness of the night can be. With the moon gracing it's light and the stars twinkling randomly. If one looked closely, they can notice how the stars blink without pattern. It just twinkles. Like how our hearts beats. It just does.

Oddly, everytime stars twinkle, I found myself blinking at times. Stars are also like eyes of the sky. As if its watching me and I'm gazing back at them. A silent emotional war between us. I feel it. It's alive. I am alive.

I sighed loudly as I wipe the tear stain on my cheeks. I decided to stay a little more in the terrace after she disclosed her heart to me. I just thought I need more time to think. I believe so.

'How far away the stars seem, and how far is our first kiss, and ah, how old my heart.'

Just a random excerpt that my mind decides to recite. I just realized how old our love story is. How many years I've been hopeful and yet hopelessly in love at the same time. It turns out, she's struggling on her own as well. Keeping her feelings to herself just so she could save her heart from breaking. And I would also do that if I was her. Feels like, the stars were never aligned for us that time. We weren't made to be together... just yet. Again, another sigh escape my lips. Sure, the stars know every story on Earth. They are the watchers, of course.

"Am I fool?"   I let out a quiet sob.     "Can the fool rewrite their own stars?"

The question wasn't meant to have answer but, then I noticed, one star shone brightly. The whole time I'm gazing at the sky, that one wasn't there. I never seen that before. Call me weird but, it feels like a sign. At times like this, I might believe that the stars are giving answers.

It wouldn't be easy, I know. But, it's worth giving a shot. I only have one plan: Restart.

I guess I can rewrite this story then. Hopefully, I'll do it right this time.

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After quite some time, my feet decided to head back inside. I came across people who casually smiled at me and I responded with a small smile. I tried. I just can't do it better.

I felt a tug on my shirt, making me glance to the direction of the person.

"Hey, can we talk?"

I was unresponsive at first. It didn't dawned to me that she's in fact asking. When I nodded, Shay lead me to the porch. I wonder what she's going to say. It was silent at first and quite awkward.

What's going on?

"I just realized now how big this house is."   I started instead.

She just smiled.    "Yeah, Andy sure wants a big house. I actually thought she said it was an apartment but, when we arrived here, I totally didn't see this coming."

"Me too."   I replied.

After a few beats, Shay decided to went straight to the reason why she brought me here. Thankfully.

"Sorry to drag you out here. I just... I have stuffs in mind that I know you'll understand. I know and well, I believe you also know, that we aren't that 'super close' . We're just acquaintances and former roommates but, it didn't last too long so, we haven't really bonded that much. Then, perhaps, forced to be somehow closer by the fact that we're in the same circle of friends. And of course, because of Camden."   She paused. Then, she continued while my eyes kept glued to the stars above us.    "I think my point here is... I consider you my friend, Jo. I do."

The statement made me look onto her. She was sincere and it made me genuinely smile. She reciprocated.

"Thank you. Just so you know, despite my threats to your life which I just did because you're dating my best friend that time, I never held grudge or anything to you. I also consider you a friend. You're a good person, Shay. I've known that for years."