The confession

Darkness

    Andy POV ( from earlier)
        It felt like there was only darkness. I hated my life I hate myself. I wanted the pain to go away. I had to hide it from the boys they don't really care about me. I'm nothing the one person who ever made me feel better destroyed everything that was left of me. I had nothing left.

      I had to wear a bunch of clothes so the boys didn't see the new cuts. That wasn't enough though.I had to seem like I was fine so I slid a smile on my face kept it on the whole time the boys were around.I would laugh and pretend like I was fine. Rye keeps drinking to much and getting drunk. I tried to seem cold when his around. Like I was fine with everything. Even though I wanted to end it all.

      Then Rye brought the girl he cheated on me with over to the house. I was in the shower when I heard her. I had to walk out there with strength. I reached in the back of the toilet where I hide my blades. I pulled it out.

After I finished I wrapped my chest and walked out of the bathroom. I smiled and stared to talk to her like she was my best friend. We are actually a lot a like. I walked into Ryes room with Rye. I tried to stay calm but soon I was up against the wall

"What are you doing" He said I gave me a confused look

" you're the one pushing me against the wall" I snapped is he kidding me

" Aren't you hurting at all! Don't you miss me" He said I don't believe him I know he doesn't care if he did he would never have cheate

" because I miss you" He said pushing his lip onto mine It was sloppy He was all over the place. Acting like it was everything he has wanted . Which made me angry I pushed him apparently pretty hard because he was now on the ground. I wiped my mouth I didn't want to think about him his lips being on mine didn't help.

" what the hell is wrong with you" I snapped I don't believe him! I know he doesn't care!!! If he did he would never have cheated

" I miss you I want you back" he said

" what do I have to do to prove it to you" He said

" maybe tell me when your not drunk" I screamed then stormed out of the room. That asshole how could he do this.

     
      The next morning I went to the gym.When I got home from the gym. Rye was crying in the living room holding my notebook. I walked over to him and sat in front of him. I wanted to be mad but I wasn't I was to worried to be.

" are you okay?" I asked looking at what page he was on. It was the doodle I drew.

" I care about you" he said crying before I could say anything he rapped his arms around me

" please...please... If you can't forgive me I understand but at least be my friend again" he said
I looked into his eyes. All I saw was sadness

" Rye I can't" I said

" your eyes have been really blue lately" he said which made me hold my breath he knew I was broken...He knew all along. Before I could react he had lifted up me shirt. Tracing the knew cuts with his finger.

" I know I hurt you... I know nothing I can ever say will make it better but I'm scared that one day you won't be around anymore because of... Everything so I'm telling you this right now if you keep doing this I'll start doing it to myself" he said which made my eye get ten times bigger.

" if you hurt youtself I'll hurt my self if you... If you take your self out of this world I do the same... So unless you want to be the reason I die your not gonna do it again." He said

"Okay" I said

We went to bathroom I showed him where the blades were he threw them in the dumpster outside he took every single piece of clothing that covered my scars in his closet so if I wanted to wear one I had to go in there to put one on. So he could see if I had new scars.
We decided to try and be friends again I don't know if it will work but maybe it will. I can honestly say I miss him.