The confession

In the dirt

Ryes POV

Me and Andy were trying to make being friends work but it was hard. Because I was in love with him and all I want is to be with him, to hold him and kiss him!!! But every time I would flirt he would shut it down... I tried to be normal around him I really did!!! IT WAS SO HARD... like yesterday we were all watching a movie and since Andy hasn't been sleeping well lately he fell asleep beside me and all I wanted to do was hold him tight but I couldn't...it would hurt Andy and I've done enough of that.  
Rye

I sat down the notebook down. Me and Andy both are doing them now. It felt good to let out some emotions out. I looked at the clock to see it was 3:00 a.m.  I sighed I should probably go to sleep. I went to lay down when I heard Andy screaming. It wasn't like usual he was screaming so load I thought he had to be dying. I ran out of the room to see Andy still asleep the other boys trying to get him to wake up. I climbed in bed with him rapping my arms around him.
" shhhh it's okay" I said holding him tighter then ever

" it's just dream" I felt him start crying I knew he mush be awake. I held onto him a little longer tell he stopped crying.

" I'm sorry" Andy said whipping the tears from his eyes

" don't be sorry" the boys said
I just looked at him his eyes were really blue this dream hurt him a lot.
The other boys went to bed. I went to my room and grabbed my pillow and came back to Andy's room

" what are you doing" he said looking into my eyes

" I'm gonna seat in here with you tell you fall asleep" I said

" fine but your sleeping on the couch" he said then turned to face the wall.
I tossed and turned for a while before Andy said

" oh my God just get over here" I grabbed my pillow and climbed into bed with him. For along while we just stared at each other.

" why did you sleep with her" he asked I looked into his eyes

" is that what your dream was about" I asked he just nodded

" Andy that night was the biggest mistake of my life and if I could do over 1,000 times over again 500 times I would never have slept with her" I said his face got angry

" and the other 500 times" he snapped and I smiled

" the other 500 times I would have slept with you not her" I said I could see his face go extremely red even with it being so dark in here

" oh" he finally said

" but you never answered the question... why did you sleep with her" he said I wanted to avoid answering this as long as I possibly could.

" Andy it's almost 4:00 a.m. how about we talk about this another time" I said he just nodded then he fell asleep I just laid there looking at him.
Maybe I'm bi or maybe I'm gay. It doesn't matter anymore all I know is I love him and I ruined any chances of ever having him and that killed me more then anyone will ever know. If I didn't know a hundred percent that he would end everything if I ended my life I would already be in the dirt.