Finding the Missing Piece: An Everlark Story

Chapter Seventeen

Peeta POV-

It has been one week since my outing with Katniss and I'm starting to realize more and more each day how ridiculous I'm being.

She has called and texted and come by several more times and I still refuse to speak to her. 

I want to see her but I'm so afraid. 

I know I've made her life miserable lately and I'm so embarrassed by it.

What am I even gonna say to her when I do see her?

Because I can't just avoid her forever.

Are we even going to still be friends after this?

It just seems like every time we do talk, we just end up making the situation worse.

If it could get any worse.

Ryan said that every time he sees her she looks terrible.

He says she looks like a lot of sleepless nights and crying and that I look the same.

I screwed up so bad and I know that but then again I don't know how to even begin to fix it.

I'm so selfish.

If I really liked her let alone loved her, I would've helped her out and would not left her, or ignored her the last week.

I've probably ruined our friendship and any chance that she even liked me is out the window but again I have no one to blame but myself.

I'm so disappointed in myself.

It's like it's not even me.

And yet it is but I seem to have no control over my thoughts or actions.

Maybe that is what being in love feels like-uncontrollable.

My mother is right.

I am worthless.

I don't deserve Katniss, even if we are just friends, but even that is ruined now, I'm sure of it.

"Peeta Mellark! Get to the bakery now! You are late for your shift again and it's the last time I'll have it!" My mother yells from downstairs.

I cringe at the sound of her voice and close my eyes, praying my door is still locked.

I'm so tempted to yell back something like, 'Yeah, I've missed it everyday for a week!' but I don't dare.

And honestly, I deserve every beating I have coming to me for how I've been acting.

Maybe she will beat some sense into me.

I check my phone and I have twelve missed calls and seventeen texts from her.

I swear the next time she calls I am going to answer it no matter how nervous I get or how speechless I become.

I have to apologize to her.

Eventually, I fall into a deep sleep and when I wake up, it's dark.

I must have slept all day.

I peak out of my window and see my mother's car is not in the driveway, so it's safe to assume she's not home and I'm relieved.

I get up to use the restroom, running into my Dad in the hallway.

"Oh sorry." I say not looking him in the eyes.

"Peeta, what's wrong with you, Son? You have been in bed for a week." He says, somewhat angrily.

"You haven't ate anything or gone to school. Katniss keeps coming by and you refuse to talk to her. What's gotten into you?" My dad says.

"I'm fine." I say, hoping he will leave me alone but he doesn't.

Out of nowhere, he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder and takes me down the stairs and into the bakery.

I try to wriggle out of his grasp but nothing helps.

Now I know how Katniss felt when I play kidnapped her.

"Dad, put me down. I don't want to work and I don't want anyone to see me like this." I say frustratedly.

He sets me on the ground and face to face with her.

She stares at me as tears stream down her cheeks.

"She's been here for hours, wanting to see you. Now talk to the poor girl." My dad says.

I just stare back at her.

She looks worse than I imagined and I'll bet I'll look about the same.

Just as I'm about to try and flee from panic, she begs me.

"Please, Peeta?" She asks, and I can hear the hurt in her voice, so I force my feet to stay planted.

All I can do is stare at her as my breaths get heavier and my eyes start stinging with tears.

Seconds later she inches closer, hesitantly throwing herself into my arms.

Taken back by her actions, I stumble backwards but I manage to stay on my feet.

Coming to my senses, I wrap my arms around her and begin running my fingers through her hair gently.

My body tingles at her touch and I feel even more stupid for everything that I've done.

I did this to her.

As if practiced, in unison and through our tears we both say, "I'm sorry."

And that's when I know I can't hide any longer.