You hate me and I don't care
you love me and I don't think that's fair.
I tried my best but I know that I will
never be part of the show.
I know in my heart that I will never make it.
I want to be happy but I know I don't deserve it.
I'm emotionless but you might define as sad.
I'm walking down the cave. No light. All the same.
I am just trying to stop the tears from falling.
So instead I end up smiling.
I listen to music to help me get through the day.
I listen because the beat is good but then I hear the lyrics.
The lyrics describe me to a degree.
Smiling use to be effortlessly I miss those days.
Friends use to not be fake. what happened then?
And every day I say the same
"I'm tired" Yet that's not it.
I'm breaking not healing. I think
Nobody can help me.
I'm not living im surviving.
And I know that I say goodbye
Way too many times but soon it will be real.
A little hope is inside that is stuck there
Not wanting to leave that is keeping me
Here.
Why is my heart beating fast when nothing
Is happening?
Yes I know if I stop touching this wound
It will heal but I don't think that's the case.
I'm already below the basement and
trying to get out there before the walls break
And I am below more than I already am.
I hurt and I cry but you can't see because
It's hidden behind a smile.
My voice obviously is not loud
Because nobody hears,
And I'm feeling hurt.
