Kissing my Scars and Bruises

Chapter eight

William looked at all the posters on my wall. His blue-grey eyes taking it all in.

"You have a wide variety in music taste." William noted.

"Some of the posters are old. I just didn't take them down because I can't stand seeing the walls." I explained.

I just felt the need to explain myself to him.

"What's underneath?" William asked, curiously.

"Writings. From my father. He's bipolar. This used to be his room as a child." I explained.

"So, this is a family house? You know, like inherited?" William asked sitting back to rest on his hands.

"Yeah, Grammy lives in a retirement home and left the house to her oldest, which is my father." I nodded.

I felt on edge with William in my room. I could tell his presence was messing with my head because I was currently watching a little fairy dancing in a funky way.

"What are you looking at?" William asked.

I tore my eyes away from the dancing fairy to look at William, I almost yelped in surprise when I saw him.

He was zombified. His fair skin had turned a darkish grey and was rotted in places. His white teeth were decayed and yellowed.

"What?" William's voice was distorted.

I scrambled away. He was gonna hurt me. William, or the zombie William, moved closer to me.

"Don't be afraid." Zombie William said.

"You, you're gonna hurt me. You're gonna eat my brains." I muttered.

I was shaking in fear. Zombie William reached his hand out and placed it on my back. His hand wasn't rough like I expected it to be. It was soft and warm.

"Sadie, you're hallucinating. You need to calm down." William's distorted voice was still unnerving.

"It's so fucking real." I said through my tears.

"What can I do to help?" William's hand left my back.

"Get my dad." I answered.

I heard shuffling. The door opened and there was more shuffling. The room started tilting. It was like the world was being tilted on it's side. I fell of my bed and hit the ground hard. I gripped the bedpost.

"Sadie!" Father ran to my side. "What do you see?"

"The world's tilted on it's side." I answered.

"Here." Dad gave me a pill.

I took the pill and sallowed it. The world stayed like that. I didn't expect it to take effect right away. It was only supposed to make me fall asleep so my brain can get rid of the problem.

The world grew dark. Before I was taken by sleep I muttered something to dad.

"I would like William to stay." I fell asleep.

I woke up after an hour. I felt refreshed. I loved those pills because I always slept better when I had them. I sat up and looked at the time on my alarm clock. It was only five pm. I smelt the scrumptious smell of dinner.

I got up from the bed. Dad must of put me on the bed after I fell asleep. I went downstairs to the dining room. William was sitting at the table.

"You're up" William's eyes brightened when he saw me.

"Yeah." I sat down next to William.

There was already a plate fixed for me. It had a grilled cheese and a bowl of tomato soup. Everyone else was eating meatloaf and green beans.

I took a spoonful of the soup and looked at it. There was a thin line of steam coming from the spoonful of soup. I blew on it to cool it down before putting it in my mouth.

"So, Will, I hear you're in Sadie's calculus class." Dad made an attempt at small talk.

"Daaad" I groaned.

William chuckled softly so only I would hear.

"Yeah, she's the star of the class. Surprised she doesn't teach us." William smiled.

I knew he meant those words. I smiled.

"Yeah, she's always had a knack for learning." My step-mom said before taking a bite of her meatloaf.

"Um, Mr. Everleigh, sir, Sadie told me about her disorder, has she always had it?" William asked, awkwardly.

"We're not sure. She did get dignosed pretty early considering the average age of people with the disorder. Do you know a lot about the disorder?" Dad answered, after swallowing a gulp of his water.

"I did a little research on it, I didn't find much. Just the basics like what it is, simply." William answered.

"Dad, I can explain it to him." I interjected.

"Okay, that'd probably be less confusing. Go ahead and explain." Dad smiled at me.

"So, basically, the disorder messes with my brain. It's also hereditary. My mother has the disorder which increased my chance of getting the disorder. There is no single cause of the disorder. In the medical world there's a lot of uncertainty surrounding the disorder. It often is accompanied by other mental problem, so there is very much a chance that I could have another disorder, such as depression or a personality disorder or even a mood disorder. You understand what I'm saying so far right?" I explained what my therapist had told me when I had my first session.

"Yeah, I learned all that in my research." William nodded.

"Well, there are different forms of the disorder, like scitzoassitive disorder. Mine is an acute form which I really don't remember the official name of. But, with this form, I can usually manage my symptoms with some help form medicine. That's why I seem completely normal to every one. What people don't understand is not all cases of the disorder are the same. In my case, I can't manage my symptoms when I don't sleep well." I explained. "So, my therapist has prescribed pills that help me fall asleep when I get too sleep deprived."

"Is that the pill your dad gave you when you were hallucinating?" William asked.

"Yes." I nodded. "And back to your initial question, the trait for the disorder could and most likely was passed on to me by my mother. But, it is my conviction, as well as my therapist's conviction, that it did get passed on to me. The trait was dormant until some environmental factor triggered the trait. But, the trait could of developed out of the environmental factor and I could of had the disorder from that." I explained.

"And, if you don't mind me asking, what event triggered it?" William asked.

"When I was six, my mom left me and my father. She said she couldn't stand seeing me." I answered.

We fell into silence as we ate our food. The only noise was the clank of our silverware against our dishes.

"Mrs. Everleigh, this meatloaf is good." William smiled.

Everyone who's tasted my step-mom's meatloaf said it was great. I've always been a vegetarian so I never tasted her meatloaf.

"It's a family recipe." My step-mom smiled, her cheeks going red.

A/N~ Sorry I published this late. I gotta do a thousand things right now. The next chapter might be late as well. Over the weekend I'm planning to update more than twice. Hopefully my brain won't give me something stupid. Granted that is basically how I write. Anyways...

Adios amigos 🐼