The F in Pike (Book 3.5) (girlxgirl)

To Breath Again

Author's Note: As I said, here it is again. The story is starting again. Make sure you stay up to date because this story and Sins of the Past are part of the same story.

She's changed.

I just sit and watch Faith as she takes on four vamps at once in her little let loose moment she insisted on having without my help.

It's like I can feel it or something. I'm not sure why, but it's like there's been a total shift in her attitude.

Her fists fly every which way as she fights them off with her completely new attitude.

There's none of the anger behind her punches that I saw before. She's not tense when she moves either. Almost like this huge weight has been lifted off her ever since we talked last night. Not that everything's fixed and perfect now. She's still in a lot of pain. She's still confused and guilty and a little bit sad, but I think the anger is mostly gone, which is definitely a good thing.

Faith almost takes one of the vamps' heads off with a roundhouse kick that sends the poor dead guy to the grass of the cemetery pretty hard.

At least now I can breathe easy knowing that I can talk to her and get her to open up without worrying that she's gonna try and stab me with something sharp and pointy. After all the drama last night, we actually had some fun together, like we were real friends or something. It was nice.

She takes two of the four vamps out with a left, right quick staking combo and then backs off the other two to regroup.

So why does that make me feel really guilty? I don't have anything to feel guilty about. Faith's my friend, and I want her to be happy and have fun. And if we're happy and have fun together, that's even better. So why does spending the night in Faith's hotel room eating junk food and watching movies make me feel guilty?

My fellow slayer throws a combo of fists at both vamps as they try to attack her together and she fends them off easily.

It's not like I haven't watched movies and eaten junk food with people before. I used to do it all the time with Willow and Xander. It was fun. I never felt guilty about doing it with them. I mean, I know I've never done it with Faith before but why should that matter at all?

One of the vamps manages to get in a few good shots and for a second I get this urge to jump in and help Faith but I know she'd never forgive me for it so I resist the urge.

Maybe... maybe it's Dawn. Maybe I feel guilty for having fun with Faith because of Dawn. She left for college in so much pain and dealing with so many issues and here I am having fun slaying with her ex. Somehow that feels really wrong. It feels like I should be hating Faith and shutting her out of my life after the way things ended with them and how it affected Dawn. That feels like the right thing to do... but I don't think I can.

That would be like trying to be Dawn and punish Faith because Dawn wasn't around. I can't hate Faith for Dawn's sake, that wouldn't make any sense. But if I know that and understand that, then I shouldn't have anything to feel guilty about. So why can't I stop feeling bad?

My fellow slayer takes care of the two remaining vamps without beating the hell into them and I hop down off my seat on the above ground grave and walk towards her. She smiles at me as she turns my way.

"Thanks B..."

"Any time... seems like they actually gave you a decent fight, you have fun?"

Faith stretches out a bit with a big grin on her face and I swear I heard something close to a grunt near the end.