Unlike Loki

Chapter 99

(Anna)

I have no idea how long we stayed in each other's arms. 

I remembered. I remembered everything. I had been played and played with. The better part of my life had been concerned with my torture. But never, not once, had they physically messed with my mind. I can handle pain of the body. I can heal from that, I can get over that. 

There's no coming back from having someone inside your head. 

It makes you see the universe a little differently. As if you're not the only one who knows how you think, and dream, and feel. And it makes it hard to trust your own mind, always knowing that there's a possibility that what's going on inside your head are not your own thought, but the thoughts of others who think they are higher than you. 

I was damaged now, for the rest of my life, however long that may be. 

I tried not to think about it, about the fact that I was dead set on killing Loki. My Loki. It was like I was in a dream. You feel that everything you do makes perfect sense, when in reality it's not even close to being plausible. 

I couldn't stop crying. 

Partly because of what I had almost done, and partly because something was off about the way Loki was kissing me, as if he would never kiss me again. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I didn't want to leave this moment. I was scared and happy all at the same time, and I was out of breath. I was also pretty sure there was snot on my face from all the crying and the emotional turmoil. Very attractive. 

I finally pushed away from Loki, taking in deep breaths of air, laughing when I heard him do the same. 

"I'm so sorry, Loki. I-" He immediately put his finger on my lips, silencing me. 

"Stop. Please. I have you back now, and that's all that matters. Can we not just enjoy that?"

I pulled completely away from him. "Why are you talking like that?" I tried to keep the panic from my voice. 

"Like what?" His eyes were puffy from tears. 

"Like you leaving. Or that we are never going to see each other again. As if this is our last moment together?" My voice was definately shaking. 

"I apologize. I did not mean to make you think such things." His voice quivered. "I'm just shaken up. And scared, Anna. Scared of what is still to come. Our enemies are rising and gathering as we speak." He hung his head. "For all I know, we may not have much time left." 

I touched his cheekbone lightly, rubbing my thumb from the crease of his nose to the corner of his eye. "Do not speak as if we have already lost." I smiled faintly as his eyes landed on my face. 

We sat there in silence, both thinking the same thing: What if this was our last night together?

I stood up, reaching my hand towards him. He took it, standing, and looked at me strangely. 

"Follow me." I said softly, kissing his hand. 

And I led him to his- our- room.