Love is War (A Divergent Fanfic)

Chapter 23

I wake up to a loud beeping.  At first I think it's the alarm, but when I listen closer, I realize it's coming from behind the closed door.  I frown, glancing at the clock.  It's four thirty in the morning.

"Tobias," I mutter, shaking his arm.  His shirt is crumpled in a ball on the floor-- he must have taken it off in the middle of the night.  Grabbing his arm and shaking it again, I yawn and try to blink the sleep from my eyes.

Eventually he jolts awake, his eyes scanning the dark room before they focus on me.  "Tris?" he asks, his voice thick with sleep.  I shake my head, and put a finger to my lips.

"Listen," I say softly, watching as he cocks his head to the side.  He strains to hear the siren, but when he does, he jumps out of bed right away.  "What's going on?" I ask as he pulls on the wrinkled shirt.  I'm too warm and comfortable to get out of this bed unless I have to.

"Something really bad," he breathes, and without further hesitation, I scramble to get clothes on and get out the door.

* * *

I see them pull a body bag from off the bottom of the chasm.  I see so many images when I close my eyes-- Al pitching himself over the edge years ago, Christina hanging by her fingers above the raging waters, staring over the edge, wondering what was beyond it-- that I refuse to close my eyes, refuse to even blink.

"Who was it?" I ask.  Tobias shrugs, pulling me closer to him.  I wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest.  I hear his heartbeat and almost feel lulled to sleep when I hear someone yell, "He left a note!"

They hand the note to Tobias, seeing that he has more authority over them than anyone else that has gathered here: a drunken man vomiting near the Pit, a bunch of worker bees, and, of course, me.

His eyes scan the damp paper, and I try to read it too, but the words are too smudged from water and I'm still trying to wake up from sleep.  I close my eyes, listening to the thudding of his heart.  I love him.  I love him.

Thud, thud.  Thud, thud.

I snap to attention when I hear Tobias' crisp voice cut through the groggy air.  "Get this away from me," he says quickly, grabbing my arm and pulling me away as he hands the note to a worker.  I frown, opening my eyes and feeling a surge of adrenaline pump through my veins.

I pull away and grab the note from the worker, skimming through it.

I cant say I'm sorry.  I just want to let the world know that I did this for a reason.  I never loved her, but I could tell she was special.  Feisty.  I wanted what I couldn't have-- something I'd never had.  Someone I'd never had.  She knows who she is.  And she knows how she hurt me.  I can't live with myself seeing her walking around every day with him.  So I'm not sorry.  But she should be.

- Peter Hayes

I read it over again and again.  Then my eyes travel to the body bag.  A quick shudder runs through me, and I don't have enough time to react before I puke onto my bare feet.  I can't take this.  Peter.  Him.  Feisty?

I never knew Peter cared that much.  Peter liked me.  Or my body.  Or my personality-- I don't really know.  Tobias comes up to me, but I push him away.  We both helped Peter commit his suicide.  Sure, he could have confronted me instead of raping me.  But we didn't deserve the burden of this.

I vomit again, this time on Tobias' shirt.

No.

No.

No.