La sposa del fuoco

Un anno di laurea!

Ebbene sì! In questa data, 27 ottobre 2017, Alice si laureava in Scienze Biologiche. Primo traguardone della sua vita raggiunto, ma senza perdere quell'incredibile gusto per le stronzate che la caratterizza. 

Ecco perché la simbionte Fraffen, per festeggiare, mi ha regalato una rap battle incredibile e trashissima tra il mio egocentrico, favorito Dariush e la mia povera, disperata e alquanto seccata Kim. Lo voglio condividere con voi, nella speranza che vi faccia ridere come ha fatto con me. Poi mi direte secondo voi chi è il migliore.

Pronti? Spero per voi.

Dariush:

Step away, young lizard for the true sand wizard

What I want, I take like your one soul mate.

I shine brighter than a diamond

I dine with caviar and salmon

There's no game, no saint no sinner

In my desert you're deserted

You're the loser I'm the winner.

More than Jinn I'm genius

You're disgusting more like henious

You're so gay you could star in Skam 

Let me be, let her go 

Crawl back to Vietnam.

Kim:

My mother taught me many many things

But one I hold dear, my ugly Jinn

While looking at the sunset, she would always say

When the game gets rough, the toughest start to play.

Let me ask you a question

I don't mean to be a prick

But I'd really like to know

If the sand's an ass I can kick.

I'm the true hero of my story

No need for a savior

And I'm taking all the glory

"Slapping mystic creatures" is the title of my major

You live in a tower. What's sick about it?

Maybe it's just to compensate how much you're petit.

Dariush:

No talk about sexuality

Miss lezzie abnormality 

The US really made shit your motherland

If now Asian women cannot love a real man.

Napalm got you wasted, messed up your brain

I will make her rise like a Phoenix from the ashes of your shame

With my power so divine 

She'll burn, the most delightful sacrifice.

With my flames so bright, all the world I'll purify.

Kim:

Just boring. Like and add on Spotify

Want to talk about fire? Get in the line.

The last I got mad, an island exploded

You're the remake of yourself, like Matrix Reloaded. 

You talk about gold but here's what's told

No mad amount of money can buy you a soul.

So I sip with Seep, while your grave you dig deep.

True queen. Crown Cruise.

Step aside you'll get bruised

You're standing in my neighbor

I'm deep, you can tweet

Even Death owes me a favor. 

Dariush:

Poor little girl, here's a reminder

Whose the skin you crying to get under. 

I have powers so immense of magic and finance

While all you got is tears and defiance. 

Kim:

Defiance my ass. You're old as fuck.

You got nothing better to do, other than annoy and runsack.

Get a life, get a job.

You'll get old and be fat.

Can't compete to my beat.

Game over baby

Shah mat.