never letting go || lrh

Realisation.

Michael stood up : "What's wrong?" He asked, concern obvious in his voice.

"The rooms were all booked, apparently quite a few fans wanted to stay in this hotel after the gig." He answered.

I saw Aylin freeze, and I knew she would start panicking soon. I stood up and went next to her. She has completely forgot she was tired, and was now ready for action. 

"So what are we going to do?" Luke asked. I was glad they were all taking part in this, they didn't just leave us to find a way to get a room. They easily could of, they must be exhausted and they brought us here, which was already amazing of them. 

"The only solution is that they share your rooms. One girl goes with Ash and Luke, and the other one goes with Mike and Cal. The hotel will gladly set up beds in your rooms." He answered.

I was about to tell them not to worry about it, that would just be a pain in the arse for them. First a couple of strangers want to meet them, then they crash in the same hotel, more importantly the same room? No, I wasn't going to have it. As I opened my mouth to speak, Ashton said :

"That would be great! Like that we could get to know you guys." He said directly to us, before looking a me straight in the eye. One again, I turned my eyes away. I wasn't comfortable around Ashton. He reminded me too much of him. Obviously no one knew about him, so I had to suck it up after what they did for us. 

I smiled, and Aylin seemed over the moon. She nodded frantically, and the boys all laughed lightly. 

"So it's settled, I'll go talk to reception." The man said, before turning around and walking towards the front desk.

"So, who is going with who?" Calum asked, a big grin on his face. 

"You guys decide, it was so nice of you to do this, that's the least we could do." I said, thankful.

"Alrighty, so Ash and Luke, who do you want?" Michael asked, clearly enjoying himself.

"I don't mind, let's let Ash choose, shall we?" Luke said before laughing, Cal and Mike joined in on it. Ay and I smiled lightly. 

"C'mon then Maddie, stay with us will ya?" Ash said in a really weird accent. It made me laugh to bits, and everybody joined in at the end. When the man came back, we were all still giggling. He looked at as strangely, but didn't question us. He handed Luke a key, and then one to Cal. 

We decided to stay in the lobby for a bit, leaving time for the hotel to set up the beds. We talked about anything, but I couldn't concentrate. I kept thinking about how similar to him Ashton was. And it creeped me out. I was starting to have trouble breathing, and Ay knew what was happening. She didn't know the reason, she just knew it was. 

She ran to me, and kneeled at my feet. My head was in my hands, and just by how dead silent the surroundings had become, I knew the boys were staring. 

"Hey hon, it's okay, breathe deeply, in... out... in... out..." Ay said, she knew exactly what to do in these situations, it always worked.

My breathing was evening out, and without realising, I had started crying. My mascara had started to run, and Ay was drying up the tears. As I sighed deeply, she went back to her seat, and smiled apologectly to the boys. I smiled as well, not being able to look Ashton in the eyes. It brought back to many memories.

About an hour later, everything had gotten back to normal, but it did take a while for everyone to embrace what just happened to me. I had been getting a lot of panic attacks, for almost 2 years now. Nobody knew why, and they didn't need to know. It was my own secret. I know it's bad keeping something so big to myself, but I couldn't face telling anyone, it was so embarassing.

The manager came over telling us that the rooms were ready. We all got up, and headed toward the lifts. When it came, we all shuffled in, and went up in silence. I felt bad for ruining the night.

As we all got out of the lift, we walked around, not sure where to go.

"This hotel is like a fucking maze!" Michael said, frustrated. We had been looking for the rooms for 10 solid minutes now, and still were no where close. After roaming around for a little bit, we finally found the two rooms we were given. I said goodnight to Ay, holding her in a tight embrace, and whispering a 'thank you' in her ear. She smiled and kissed my cheek. I was then pulled into a hug by Cal and Mike, and then we headed in the room. There were supposed to be 3 single beds, but as we walked in we spotted a double bed a a single one. Two single ones had been pulled together, as there wasn't enough space in the room. We all looked at each other akwardly, and Luke said he would go check next door if they had the same issue. I just knew there was no way in hell I was sleeping in the same bed as Ash, as much as he was nice. 

He came back in a few minutes later :

"They have the same problem, their beds were brought together. I asked what they would do about it, and Mike said he would never sleep with Calum, so Ay is sleeping with Mike, and Cal gets a bed." He said laughing.

"You guys have the double bed, I've already settled in." Ash said a chuckle in his voice. As I looked over, he had already all his stuff lying on the bed. I smiled, relieved, and agreed.

"I have one small problem. I wasn't expecting this, so I didn't bring pyjamas.." I said embarrassed. Ashton smiled, dug through his duffle bag and got out a tshirt that would be big enough to look like a short dress on me. I smiled, thankful, and made my way to the bathroom. I stripped off, and put the tshirt on. Fuck it smelled good. It was an AC/DC band tshirt, that I had seen in one of his performance online. A feeling of proudness crept apon me as I washed my face, brushed my teeth with one of the toothbrushes that was given by the hotel, put my hair in a messy bun, and walked out. 

The boys were talking, each lying on their respective bed. I thanked Ashton once again for the shirt, and walked toward mine and Luke's bed. Luke smiled and walked over to the bathroom, and I went into the bed. It was so cosy and warm, I fell asleep instantly. 

When Luke came out of the bathroom, he came onto the bed, and feeling the bed dip woke me up. I looked at him through my sleepy eyes, and smiled at him. I realised he was wearing sweatpants, but was shirtless. I probably stared at him for a little bit to long, because he chuckled and got in next to me. Ashton had gone into the bathroom, and it felt weird being alone in bed, with the lead singer of a world famous band. Especially, when I had been nothing but a fan a couple hours earlier, watching their show. 

His eyes were so blue, when he looked at me I could feel electricity running through me. That shock was amplified when his knee touched mine, and that he moved closer. One thing was sure, I wouldn't be falling back to sleep easily.