never letting go || lrh

Things heat up.

I had been getting ready for the party, slipping on a black dress with a cream bow on it, high heels and a purse to match. I wasn't suprised when I didn't get a call or a text or anything from Aylin. I didn't even know if she would show up tonight. I lay down on our couch and texted Luke. 

Been in a 'fight' with Aylin. Don't know if she'll show up. xx

I was anxiously waiting for the response. When it came, I nearly threw my phone in the air when I heard the familiar beeping sound.

I'll have you all to myself then. ;) xx

I laughed to myself, and looked at the clock. I had an hour or so to spend before the guys would pick me up. I risked it.

Wanna come over before the boys do? x

I couldn't believe myself. What if Aylin found out? A voice in the back of my head said to just 'fuck Aylin', and I listened to it. 

What, like now? x  He answered.

Yeah, you scared? ;) x I felt bad.

Be right there. x 

I felt excitement rise all the way through my body, as I checked myself out in the mirror. I didn't look to bad, even if I said so myself. I waited for about 10 minutes and the doorbell rang. I almost ran to it, and as I opened, I saw Luke, as stunning as ever, from his head to his toes. He had a Blink-182 tank top, and his usual black skinny jeans, paired with basic black Vans. He looked me up and down. 

"You look gorgeous." He said, pulling me into a hug. I laughed.

"I was thinking the same thing about you." I whispered in his ear. I pulled back slighlty, just enough for me to see his face. I looked from his lips, to his eyes, back down to his lips, and he leant in, catching my breath.

We started off slow and sweet, but as the kiss became longer, it became more demanding and passionate. We had walked back to the couch, and fell down on it. Laughter escaped our mouths as he tumbled over me. His hands were running up and down my bare arms, while mine were gently tugging at his hair. I pulled back and ran up to my bedroom, knowing he would follow. Now before you jump to conclusions, I was not trying to have sex here. Just have a real hot make-out session. I lay on my bed as he arrived in my room, he looked at me and walked towards me. He lay on top of me once again, our lips connecting and letting the sparks fly. He nibbled my bottom lip, and before I could hold it back, a moan escaped my mouth at the feeling. He flipped us over, so it was now me lying on top of him. I gently tugged at his shirt while kissing his neck. It was his turn to moan, and I gently sucked and bit on the skin to leave a mark. When I was done, I recreated contact between our lips, and if it were an instinct now, he started sucking on my bottom lip. He knew I liked that. My tongue slipped in his mouth, and they danced together, in perfect harmony. 

We pulled away, out of breath. I collapsed onto him, and a chuckle escaped his mouth as I did so. It was nice knowing he didn't come for the sex, either. I knew now I could trust him. I burried my face in the crook of his neck, just like the first night we spent together. My face fitted perfectly, it's like it was meant to be. 

The doorbell rang; we both got up, I wiped the lipstick off his face, and we went to open the door. The boys were standing there.  They didn't look surprised to see Luke here. We walked out, I locked the door and we were on our way.

"Did you get any news from Aylin?" I asked.

"Yeah, she texted saying she couldn't make it, that she had a cold or whatever." Ashton said, looking in the rearview mirror, concentrating on the road. I nodded. I couldn't help but feel bad for her. Luke obviously knew something was up because he grabbed my hand.

"Hey, listen." He cooed. "You're here with us now, we can drink our sorrows away." He winked at me, and I knew there was nothing I'd rather do.

*********

Later that night, we were all super trashed, except for "Daddy Ash" as we called him, as he was our designated driver. He still had fun though. We were dancing, grinding, singing and laughing on the dance floor, and someone walked over handing us some shot glasses. I didn't know what the hell was in there, but as the liquid went down my throat, it burned. I wanted more. I dragged Luke by the collar of his shirt and grabed a shot, a piece of lime and salt on my way there. I stripped off, dropping my dress on the floor, and lay on the nearest table I found. I gave all the ingredients to Luke and watched him as he licked the salt of my stomach, sucked the lime and swallowed the shot. He bent over and kissed me hard on the lips. As I was about to stand up and put my dress back on, Cal walked over and asked if he could have a turn.

"Go for it." I said, and lay back down on the tabled. Next thing I knew, guys were queuing up to have a go. I felt proud of myself, and once all the boys were done, I finally put my dress back on and downed a few shots. The liquid had an effect on me in a matter of seconds. I walked to Luke who was dancing with Mike, and kissed him hard. We tumbled backwards but quickly got our balance. We made out until the end of the party, when Ash took us home. My parents had agreed I crash at their place for the night. 

We walked in, the boys all went to their bedrooms, as I waited for Ash to show me the way to the guest room. We walked up the stairs and went past Luke and Mike's door before stopping. I walked in and took in the atmosphere. The walls were white, simple, there was a double bed, a TV, a video games station and a bathroom. I sat down on the bed, motioning to Ash to join me. He sat next to me and we looked at each other for a while, and staring into his eyes made the memories come back. I turned away.

"What's wrong?" He asked carefully.

"Nothing." I answered. I was drunk, and I don't lie well when I'm drunk.

"I know something is up, Mad, just tell me." He insisted. I weighed the pros and cons in my tired and pounding head. Who is better to talk to about someone that marked your existence in the worst way possible, than someone who reminded you of that person? No-one, I thought. So I let it spill out of my drunk mouth, for the first time, in two years.

"About 2 years ago, when I was 15, I had a 'date' with a cute guy from school. He told me to meet him behind the bleachers after school was over. So I did. He wasn't a good guy. He smoke, and drunk, and didn't care about his grades. But I was an idiot and accepted the stupid date, as he was the cutest guy in our grade. When he got there, he had a smug smile slapped on his face. He was smoking something that wasn't a cigarette. He walked over and without a word just started kissing me. His breath smelled of alcohol and whatever he had just been smoking. I tried pushing him away, He just held me tighter. I held my mouth as closed as humanly possible so that his tongue couldn't creep into my mouth. He bit my bottom lip, and I squealed, leaving him time to let his tongue in my mouth. I kicked and hit and begged for him to stop, he just said I turned him on when I did that. As he started undressing me, I had no more energy. I just started crying as he did what you can imagine." I paused, realising how good it felt to actually let it out. "When he was done, he just zipped up and walked away, leaving my body naked and cold on the ground behind the bleachers, where no-one ever came. I lay there for what felt like hours, before I could find the energy to get up. I got dressed, and walked away, as if nothing ever happened. I was just fucking lucky he didn't knock me up. Then everyone would have known. And I couldn't let that happen." I let tears roll out of my eyes, as Ashton held me tight.

"I'm so sorry, Mad. I had no idea." He said sounding genuinely confused and sad. I cryied for a long time, before finally falling asleep on the comfy bed.

*****

When I woke up, I was a mess. My head was pounding, I could hardly stand up straight. I looked into the mirror that was next to me. My eyes were puffy and red, and I had mascara stains all down my cheeks. I wondered what the hell could've happened the night before, that could have let me to this state. I didn't have any memories of a fight with Luke or anything in that sort. I let out a sigh, went into the bathroom, washed all the makeup off my face, tied my hair back in a messy bun, and headed down stairs. The four boys were already down there, all looking terrible, except for Ashton, who was his happy self. I kissed Luke quickly, and hugged Mike, Calum and Ash.

"You feeling better?" Ash asked.

"Yeah I'm fine why would you ask that?" I replied, confused. That's when it all came back to me. Fuck. What did I do last night?...