never letting go || lrh

Confusing.

As the memories of my confessions to Ashton the night before came flooding back to me, I opened my mouth and my jaw fell to the floor. Ash walked up to me casually, took my hand and led me to another room. Luke looked at me suspiciously, but I didn't care, I had more important things on my mind.

"Don't worry, it stays between me and you." He said reassuringly. But nothing could make me feel less guilty, I hadn't told ANYONE before. My parents, Ben, Aylin.. None of them knew. And now I was telling it all to a somewhat stranger that happened to be famous because I'm drunk? No, I managed to keep it secret for 2 years, I wasn't going to have anyone else know.

"You bet your sweet arse it stays between us." I snapped back. I knew he was only trying to be nice, but I was too stressed out to care. 

"Hey, relax, it's like I never knew, okay? If you ever feel like talking about it though, I'm always here for you." He cooed while pulling me in a hug. I threw my hands at the back of his neck and pulled him closer as tears came streaming down my face, and soaking his tshirt. "Hey, it's okay, everything is fine.." He whispered in my ear while rubbing my back with his hand in soothing circles. I backed away and nodded, and he brought his thumb up to wipe the tears from my cheeks. Once they were gone, he left his hand resting on my cheeks, and leant in. He was pulling me sligtly closer to him, and I looked in his green-hazel eyes, to see an undescribable emotion. I wasn't ready for this, even though Ash was very probably the perfect guy for me. Anyway, I had something going on with Luke. I backed up, apologised and walked away, leaving him there. My hangover had completely dissapeared. 

As I walked back into the kitchen, everbody stopped talking and looked at me. My eyes were probably red and puffy from crying, but I couldn't tell them why. And I knew this wasn't going to end well, not with Luke not knowing something Ashton does. 

"What's wrong?" Calum spoke up. 

"Nothing, don't worry about it." I answered, faking a smile as best as possible. 

"What was going on in there?" Luke followed, looking concerned.

"Nothing, we just talked, I promise." I said, getting slightly irritated but didn't let it show. 

"Why did you cry then?" Michael butted in. I wanted to slap him.

"You'll know when you need to know." Michael looked surprised, because the words didn't come out of my mouth. I turned around and saw Ash walking over and sitting at the table with us all. It was so nice of him to still help me out after what I had just done to him. I smiled, thankful. 

We ate breakfast in silence, I felt bad for ruining the morning.

"Hey, it's fine you know? I'm fine." I said smiling at them. They seemed relieved, and started talking a bit more. 

When breakfast was done, I helped Ash with the dishes and went back to the guestroom to pack my stuff and leave. No such luck.

"What happenned in there? Did he try anything with you?" I recognised Luke's voice without having to turn aound. I dropped my stuff on the bed and walked over to him. No point in lying, I suppose.

"Yes, he did, but that isn't the problem." I muttered. Luke's face fell as he clenched his jaw and walked out the door, to find Ashton.

"No no no babe please don't do anything to him, nothing happened!" I pleaded while catching up with him.

"I don't care if anything happened, I care that my best friend tried kissing the girl that I like." He snapped back. So he liked me. As the information came in, a grin crept on my face. I stood on my tippy-toes and slid my arms behind Luke's neck, staring in his eyes for a moment. My hand slid down his neck, and down his jawline. I ended up playing wih his lip ring that so many girls would kill to touch. He smiled, before pulling our lips together. The electricity surged through me once again, and we shared a sweet and honest kiss. As I pulled back, I smiled, and looked at him straight in the eye. 

"Don't worry about Ash, I'm yours." I said, pecking his lips once again, feeling the cold of the lip ring on my lips. It sent shivers down my spine. I liked it. I walked back to the room, glad I could calm him, and not have him rip Ashton's head off. I grabbed my stuff and walked back downstairs to say goodbye.

I hugged everyone, kissing Luke lightly on the lips. I smiled at Ash, and gave him a knowing glance. He nodded, and thankfully I'm the only one who saw the gesture. 

**********

When I got home, I was more confused than ever. My best friend wouldn't talk to me, I blurted out my biggest secret to a boy that I supposedly didn't like, but couldn't tell it to the guy I liked?

I took off my heals, and walked up to my room, flopping on my bed. Why could I trust Ashton but not Luke? Sure I was drunk when I told him, but this morning I trusted him, when he said he wouldn't tell. He never gave me a reason not to. But I couldn't wrap my head around telling Luke. I knew I could trust him, and I knew I should. I just couldn't. Finally I thought about Aylin. I missed her. it had only been a day, but we never spent a day not talking. 

I grabbed my phone and dialled her number. After ringing a few times, she still didn't answer. I got worried and rang Ash, so he would try calling her. He rang back a few minutes later, telling me she wasn't picking up. It wasn't like her not to answer her phone, so I knew something must've happened. 

I took a shower, brushed my teeth and washed my face, I slipped myself in comfy clothes and didn't bother with makeup, and was out the door, heading to Aylin's house. As I got there, I heard yelling, a swearing, and things being thrown around. I knew her dad was in action. I panicked, I couldn't walk in, and if I knocked her dad would just get angry. I sat on their porch, waiting for things to calm down. I waited outside for a long time, before the noises stopped.

When I saw the lights in Ay's room turn on, I threw rocks at her window. She opened after a while, she had a bruise near her right eye, and was crying. I felt a rush of hatred for her dad, and did the first thing I thought of, I rang her, so she could explain what happened. This time she answered.

"Hey." She said, sounding miserable.

"Oh my God Aylin what happened?" I was genuinely shocked, I knew her dad was bad, but he had never laid a finger on her before. 

"Well things got out of order with him, he saw some photos of us with the boys on Twitter, and thought we were becoming famous or something in that shitty mind." She said, hurt obvious in her voice. I stayed silent for a bit.

"What did he do?" I asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"Well when I got home, he was drinking with his laptop in front of him. He asked me to explain some photos he found, it was just us laughing with the boys. He got really mad, and threw his glass at me. I dodged it an it went crashing to the floor wext to me." She paused, I knew she had started crying. "He continued saying a was just a slut, and I had no idea how to protect myself from men." How ironic, right? The man that is supposed to be the loving figure in her life was abusing of her. "He slapped me, asking me to answer. When I apologised, he got even madder and slapped me again. Then Em walked in, panicking and ran to my dad to stop him. He got a big arse punch in the jaw, and my mum was just looking, leaning on the doorframe, crying." She broke down, I could hear the sobs escaping her mouth.

"Ay, baby, you need to do someting." I told her.

"What do you want me to do?" She answered, despair in her voice.

"Climb out the window, we'll go back to my place." I said, sure of myself.

So she did.