never letting go || lrh

Letting it out.

We walked toward the dining area of the building, and all grabbed a plate of food. As we sat down at a table nearby, Calum spoke up.

«So, how’s Aylin?» He asked me.

«Dunno, I haven’t spoken to her since last night.» I shrugged, sending a dirty look towards Luke. As soon as I caught his eye he looked down, looking ashamed.

«Oh, okay.» He said, sounding a bit disappointed. I couldn’t help but think that Cal had feelings for Aylin. And that’s when I realised everything was messed up. 

Cal liked Aylin, but she liked Luke. Luke seemed to be a self-centered arsehole and like nobody but himself. I kinda liked Ash, and I guess 

he kinda likes me back. Mike was the only one staying out of pointless drama. 

We ate in silence, until Luke’s phone rang. He answered it, after checking caller ID. I saw the tiniest glimpse of annoyance creeping up for a second before he answered.

«Hey, Aylin.» He said, not smiling, not laughing. He had no emotion showing on his face. Aylin probably thought that that hook-up meant something, but by the way the boys talked about Luke, I knew he often «fucks em’ and leaves em’». I felt bad for Aylin being so naïve and was mad at Luke for playing with her feelings. My hatred towards him grew more and more everytime I thought about him. 

They talked for a couple minutes before Luke hung up on her. Like that. Without saying goodbye. I wanted to yell at him, punch him, throw stuff at him. Instead, I looked at him straight in the eyes. I walked towards Ash who was sipping his Coke. He stopped when he saw me walking over to him. He put his drink down and opened his arms. I sat on his lap, straddling him. We giggled, and I beant down to kiss him. 

«Okay, I’m outta here.» Cal chuckled. 

«Me too!» Mike followed. Luke didn’t say anything, and by the lack of noise, I knew he didn’t go away. 

I pulled away from the kiss.

«That felt nice.» I said giggling. 

«It did indeed.» He smiled back to me. I gave him a quick peck and got up, telling him I needed the bathroom.

As I walked out the room and turned the corner, someone grabbed my hand and turned me around.

I stared in surprise as I saw a pair of bright blue eyes.

«What the hell?» He asked, mad.

«What?» I snapped back, not in the mood to have this conversation right now. 

«Do you think it’s okay for you to go around kissing one of my band mates ?» He asked almost yelling.  I let out a humorless laugh. I did really have feelings for Ash.

«Listen. I liked you. A lot. I thought we had something, but when I tell you my biggest secret you walk out of my life, and ignore me for a solid week. I didn’t get a word out of you for an entire fucking week, Luke. You walked out, when I needed you the most. Do you think it was easy for me to tell you that I was fucking raped, Luke? Answer me.» I said, tears forming in my eyes. He just looked at me, without answering. «Oh, so now you’re not talking. Well listen to me carefully then.» I continued, sobbing. «When you tore my heart to pieces and went around FUCKING MY BEST FRIEND, Ash was there. He held me tight, comforted me. For all I know, that should’ve been you doing that. But no, you’re too fucking self-centered to realise that I was completely broken. Now the days were I might have had feelings for you have gone, and today I fucking hate you. You broke me, and my best friend. You are not a part of my life anymore. So don’t you dare tell me I can’t get comfort from Ashton because you don’t control me. You mean nothing to me anymore.» I wiped a tear that had escaped my eye, and walked past him, shoving him in the process. 

Even though it broke me letting it all out, it felt good somehow, as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I walked out of the building and made my way back to the subway. I went to the bathroom and fixed my makeup before hopping on the wagon. I stood, staring straight in front of me. I stopped a few stations before my actual stop, to walk a bit. 

I walked out into the fresh air, and through a nearby park. As I was walking, a big brown Labrador ran into me. I stumbled and nearly fell, but a girl ran up and caught me before I could actually touch the ground.

«Naughty girl, Poppy. Bad!» She scolded her dog once I was back on my feet. I took a closer look at her. Wow, she was beautiful. She had red hair, deep green eyes and lots of piercings : a nose ring, a couple under her lip, and one in both her cheeks. I wasn’t usually one for piercings, but damn, she worked them. She looked at me apologetically.

«Sorry, she’s still young and she gets very excited. I’m Rita, nice to meet you.» She said holding out her hand. 

«I’m Maddie.» I said taking her hand and shaking it, smiling. 

«You looked kinda down when Poppy here ran into you. Is everyting okay?» She asked sympathetically. 

«Oh, uh yeah, I’m fine.» I said.

«You sure?» She insisted. I don’t know why, but I trusted her completely. So I blabbed on about everything going on with Luke and Ash and Aylin, and she listened carefully and nodded when I was done.

«Well, now I understand why you looked so sad.» She put her hand on my thigh. «I know what will make you feel better.» She smiled, grabbed my hand, and we walked to a coffee shop a couple blocks from there. I laughed as she struggled to control her dog. When we got there, Rita tied Poppy outside, and we walked in. 

«What would you like?» She asked me. 

«Sorry?» I was surprised. 

«What do you want to drink?» She repeated, smiling.

«Oh no, you’re not paying for me, I just talked to you for about 20 minutes and probably bored you to death. I’m not letting you spend money on me.» I said nicely.

«Come on, it makes me happy!» She begged.

«Okay, fine! But next time it’s on me.» I surrendered, and she took my order.

We walked out the café and sat down at one of the outdoor tables for the dog. I didn’t mind, it was a lovely day. We sat chatting, and I learned a bit more about her. 

Her actual name was Margaret, but she hated it so went by Rita. She was a vegetarian and had been since she was 12. She loved the Beatles, and was also into punk-rock music. So we chatted about our favourite bands ; Green day, Blink-182, Nickelback, Nirvana...

«I should head home, but can I get your number?» I asked her. «It was nice meeting you, and chatting to you.» I smiled. 

«Sure!» I handed her my phone as she typed her number in. I texted her and she saved my number. I hugged her goodbye, thanked her once again, and walked back to my house.