30 Day Writing Challenge // Ryllon [PART THREE]

Day 11: Sad

There's no cause for it. Purely just my depression deciding that I haven't been like this in a while and I need a break from feeling happy, and that is something I've come to terms with. 

There are tears on my cheeks and my eyes are red. I stand up and walk downstairs, then stop when I realize that Brendon and Spencer are still here. It takes a moment, but I sigh and continue because I just spent an hour crying and I can't handle being alone this much.

I walk downstairs and into the living room. Dallon notices me, then tenses up when he realizes that I've been crying and that I'm being seen. I sit next to him and curl up in a ball, anxiously tugging at the ends of the sweater as I snuggle into my husband, closing my eyes and relaxing.

"Hey, babe, what's wrong?" He asks quietly. The other two don't say a word, but I know that they're shocked and confused.

I shrug.

"Just... stuff," I say.

"Stuff stuff or just stuff?"

"Stuff."

"Do you want some tea?" He asks, and after a small moment, I nod. I go to stand, but he makes me sit down. "I'll make it, it's okay. Do you guys want some?" Dallon asks the other two, and they nod, obviously still shocked. Dallon kisses my head, then stands and leaves the room. 

"You... and Dallon...?" Spencer asks, and I nod. 

"You're dating?" Brendon asks quietly, and I hold up my hand. They frown, so I point to the ring. Their eyes widen. 

"Ever wondered why Dallon has a ring?" I ask, and they look at each other. "We've been together for about 5 years, married for almost 3. Jon, Vicky, Z, and his family knows, we kept it a secret because... well, first it was because Dallon wasn't out to anyone and we both were in our own bands, second was because it was around the split and everything was stressful enough, and then it was because I wasn't very mentally or emotionally stable and Dallon didn't wanna risk  it," I explain as casually as I can. 

"What is it now?" Spencer asks.

"Still not stable," I say. I shrug, because this is what it's like. "I've been like this for a long while now. It started when the split happened, when it was just so...  hectic and stressful and Dallon was... I don't know, protective? The split, all of us arguing, Dallon and I moving in together for the first time, the whole Keltie situation, Dallon proposing, it... it was a lot, but we kept it secret for a reason."

"So... you and Keltie...?"

"We were never dating. It was her idea to pretend just so there was no way of showing that Dallon was... well, gay, I guess," I explain simply. 

"You didn't tell us?" Brendon asks me, almost hurt.

"Dallon wasn't out and by the time he was out to his friends and family, all of us were starting to argue and fight constantly. We didn't wanna be around each other, I didn't think you guys would care that I was getting married."

"But... Jon knew?" Spencer asks. I shuffle until I'm sitting in a more comfortable position.

"He found out on accident."

"Accident?"

"He, uh... walked in..." I say, then swallow awkwardly. Spencer seems to realize.

"Walked in?" Brendon asks, not quite getting it. 

"He walked in on them having sex," Spencer explains for me.

"Oh!" Brendon says, and I smile very slightly. Dallon walks in and hands Brendon and Spencer two cups of tea, then walks back into the kitchen. He comes out again. I go to grab it, but he sets mine and his on the coffee table and then sits next to me.

"It's hot, it'll burn your hands," he says, and Brendon and Spencer slowly lower their mugs to the table. I snuggle into him as his arms wrap around me. "Are you alright?"  

I look at him, then the boys, then at him again. I smile slightly. 

"Yeah. I'll be alright."