Living the Dream

What Have We Done

Sooo this contains lots of out of character behavior so let that be noted. ;)

Shawn's POV

I have a tolerance for a lot of things. Pain, for example, is one of my highest thresholds. Love, however, I've never endured it, so I wouldn't know.

One thing I can't stand is when people are ignorant. Oblivious to others needs, wants, dreams, etc. Ignorant of hints thrown their way, ignorant of the small things, because in the end the small things become the important things. Right now I feel ignored. Everyone around me is being ignorant in a subtle sense or larger, depending on who we're talking about. Cam is completely ignorant of the fact that I've told him about all of my troubles with Sam yet he intervenes in the most ineffective ways. Sam is ignoring the fact that I'm trying so hard to love her even when she's off macking on Matthew. Matt is somehow unaware that he's breaking us apart, and when I say us I mean me and the rest of them, not just her. This sort of thing made me mad. Why did this have to affect me?

I saw her outline in my bed where she should've been, but rolled over and approached the bathroom to wash my face and that memory from my head. A strong tinge of red indents streaked my cheeks, arms, and neck as I looked in the mirror and felt the bumps all over my skin.

"Why so grumpy today, Mendes?" Aaron asked cheerfully as some of the guys came into his room. He was already fully dressed and ready for the day, he's an early riser. I groaned.

"Better not talk to him. He had a fight with Sam last night. I'm surprised you didn't hear it." I could feel Cam's eyes burning holes in my back as I brushed my teeth in Aaron's bathroom. "He was pretty worked up, you should've seen him. Red in the face, hyper, the whole spiel." I was starting to get mad again. Was it necessary to describe the whole experience of misery that took place last night again, or what? And of course, Cam is making me look bad and spreading the word that I'm just the jealous dude who doesn't know what he's really looking for.

"Can we lay off the jokes about me for now? Sorry, I just don't want to be in the room while you guys make fun of me, thanks." I said this in the most condescending tone, and it really blew up in Cam's face.

"Make fun of you, I'm just telling him the truth!" My temper flared as Cam said this and I began to take a few quick steps towards him as he took the precaution of taking some backwards.

"Alright boys, it's too early to be fighting. Today we've got to do something. Any suggestions?" Aaron subsided the fight Cam and I were about to burst into and stood in between us for good measure.

"Whatever," I turned around and screwed the cap onto my jar of feelings for the thousandth time.

"Gonna be a baby about it now, yeah?" I ignored him. "Gonna spend the rest of the day sulking, is that it?"

That's it. "If you don't shut your goddamn fucking mouth then yeah, someone's gonna be crying like a baby by the end of tonight," Aaron's shortness worked in my favor this time as I pushed past him and came barreling towards the ass that kept calling me names. "You asshole, yeah? You fucking asshole!"

"Whoa, dude, calm down," Cam worried.

"Don't tell me to calm down, you're being a douchebag! Does everything I tell you go in one ear and out the other? Where'd your sympathy for me go, Cam? What about all the shit I told you about her, are you really that thick? You're taking his side now, it makes no sense to me. All I need is an explanation of any kind and I'll stop being a baby, fine. You have no idea how much this has ruined me."

"Whoa whoa whoa, ruined you? Ruined you! Do you know how selfish you sound right now? She almost killed her best friend, she feels so unbelievably guilty that she has to spend all her time with him now. Like he'll die any second, like he almost did last week because of her. Have you not had this conversation with her?"