Life is Life

Move

It never occurred to me the way I walk into my house, I walk in as if I own it. As if tomorrow I'm not packing my whole house and leaving this place. Leaving my home and moving into my grandmas because there is no where else to go, we're lucky to have her.

I wonder how long they've been struggling with this and I didn't know, they never wanted me to. I don't think it would be any help if I did know I'm an inexperienced child and I think I know it all when in reality I don't even have a checking account. I don't know anything.

I walked into my house and examined it, how much of this stuff is going into storage? Mostly just a couch and kitchen things? Okay maybe a lot. I walked through the house someone will eventually buy, maybe a new kid at school will move into my old house and complain about it just the same as I did. Probably not, they won't have the same problems.

I feel like I should engrave my name somewhere in this house, this old cold house. Don't people do that when they want people to know they lived there and moved, do I want that? Do I want people to see my name carved into the wall. I don't, that would be pointless this house is an embarrassment to our lives, there are so many good reasons to move in with my grandma. Maybe I'm being too optimistic maybe I clearly don't see the big picture, but my grandma is getting old and living with her a little while can't be that bad.

This is not my house, it never was and never will be. I can say that about a lot of things all I know is that I need to start packing now, its 3 in the afternoon and we need to be out of here by Monday. Considering its Saturday that shouldn't be a problem. We can probably finish tomorrow but I doubt I'll be in school tomorrow. As for moving, "My grandma needs help so we moved in with her."
Who is going to question that? Although I do have a ride to school, my grandma works in the morning at the hospital she said she would give me a ride.

I folded my clothes and set aside a shirt and pants for tomorrow, packing my clothes now is the easiest thing to do and I don't have that many things in my room. Everything in my room now will be the same in the house at my grandmas if anything the room there will be bigger so I'll have more space. For nothing.

I put all my clothes neatly in a large box and got to work on my desk, after finally clearing it and taking the damn thing apart it was 11 at night and I'm ready for bed. I looked at my room it looks weird without any clothes hanging in my closet and no desk, boxes are all that sit on the floor right now. I got into my bed.

I woke up from the sun in my face I regret putting my curtains in the box yesterday, what was I thinking. I looked at my phone it was 9:00 in the morning! No, and the worst part I'm not even tired mostly sad. My room looks so bare and empty, like my soul, nah I'm just fucking around. Although my thoughts do go from normal to hate filled rather fast, scary almost.

I had a text from Sasuke, not that I want to answer, but it was nice hanging out with him and staying at his house. It was, dare I say it fun.

Yeah it was fun, I laughed a lot that night and never knew how childish he was.

I might as well tell him I'm moving, I'll tell him later, he probably noticed I'm not at school anyway.

I walked into the living room dragging my stacked boxes and put them in the middle with everything else. Yesterday my dad and I put the big couch and a TV stand in storage today we were loading the rest and off we go to grandma's. Well not exactly the rest we'll have to come back for the rest of it but the small stuff we can take now.

After putting the boxes into the truck we set our course to grandmas! No one talked the whole ride and I could almost see the discouragement on my father's face. It was rather sad to see him like this but he should just get used to the fact that we have to save money, it will be easier to do so here. They need to sit down and talk, they just need to communicate.

My grandma was home and opening the door for us, she was pleased with how fast we were I don't know if my parents even slept. I walked upstairs and into my 'new' room, there was a bed. A nice bed, a comfortable big bed.

"Grandma! There is a bed up here!" I yelled,

"It's your bed now, brat!" Wow, this is a nice bed and way bigger than my old one. Yes, now we can throw out that old one.

"Thanks Old Lady!" I heard her yelled back some curse words but I don't mind, I started putting my stuff in the closet and put my clothes away, my desk would take a bit to set up and I just don't feel like doing it. I put my blankets on my new bed, they fit well I always get blankets that are bigger then I need because I like them.

It was really warm up here I'll only need one blanket to sleep with for sure with the heat and fireplace its gotta be like 80 degrees up here.

I finished putting my room together, sort of it's still messy but I'll clean it up later. I shut the door on the way out.

I helped my dad carry the small couch up and the little coffee table, the room isn't that big at all enough for one stand one couch and a TV that will probably be hung on the wall. People could sit in it and I'm sure if we're not downstairs we'll be in here until we get tired and go to bed. I don't know how to feel. I mean I'm happy but also I feel like I'm losing something so important. The house I lived in and loved since I was a baby. The backyard I used to play in and the walks we used to go on in the woods behind the house.

I just really love nature. I just really loved the house.

My mom moved the furniture around in the small room the best she could it looked nice my mom was always good at making nothing look amazing.

My father and I went back to the house to grab the rest of the stuff and drop off some stuff at the dump. All the kitchen stuff went into storage, our game systems and movies all fit in the small room upstairs on a small stand leaned up against the wall. It was a cozy little place but it just seemed so weird.

When we got back grandma and my mom had lunch all made, they get along so well even though they both have such bad tempers.

We all sat at the table and talked and laughed and my mom cried and my dad hugged her. It was nice to see, her face turned into his chest they were still so in love, their eyes say it. I want to know their story but in order to do that we need to go back, and those are the days we don't talk about.

I held my face, my eyes burned at the thought. The thoughts of what once were. Maybe we all have secrets, maybe Sasuke was right. Maybe Sasuke will be the first to ever hear my story.