Life is Life

Hidan

I woke up at 8:00 in the morning and took a shower, I got dressed and I walked downstairs. Today was the trial and we needed to be there at 10:00. Sasuke was surely up by now he was probably in the shower. Scrubbing until he bleeds, because that's what he does when he feels dirty. Today he will be in the presence of the person who caused him to feel that way.

No one said anything, we all ate in silence. Suigetsu sat across from Sasuke and I. He smiled whenever someone looked his way. Forced smiles are still smiles.

We got in the car and drove there, the trial starts at exactly 11:00 we got there at 9:45. Suigetsu, Itachi, Kakashi and I found seats and sat down. There were already people here, some parents of kids at the school, others people just trying to support Sasuke.

We waited for a long time, Itachi was tapping his fingers on his leg and frowning. Suigetsu was tapping his foot and I was biting my lip. Everything in me was telling me to get up and get out. Get up and get out. My parents would not be here today, they have work. Mondays.

Itachi looked so angry and worried. I probably did too. I was angry and worried, I don't know whats going to happen today. I don't know who is going to be here. I can only worry.

I watched Sasuke walk in with his lawyer, Kiba was sitting in the front row next to some guy with grey hair. He looked around Itachis age. Moments later Kisame walked in, my heart started to beat very fast I was sure people could hear it. I looked at him, his eyes scanned the crowed with a smirk until his eyes connected with mine and he smiled. I looked away and shuddered, I felt disgusted just by looking at that man.

The trial went on, and on. Kisames lawyer asking Sasuke questions like why was he drinking, why didn't he leave, why didn't he ask someone to bring him home, why did he wait so long to go to the police, why. Why, Why!

I sat on the edge of my seat and listened. I listened to everything, I listened to them trying to turn the story around, as if Sasuke didn't actually get raped. As if he was lying about it all, he made it up. Attention. He wanted attention.

Nothing happened, until they called Hidan to the stand. My interest piqued a bit more, Hidan went to school with Itachi he knew Kisame. What was he going to say?

I listened to Hidan talk, his voice was low and dead. He sounded like he didn't want to be here. He stared at Kisame the whole time shooting him deadly glares. Kisame squirmed in his seat whenever Hidan spoke. As if Hidan held a secret.

And then I heard it, "He's always been a little shit! I remember when we were in middle school and the sick fuck had his hands down my friends pants!" Hidan yelled. Kisame paled. "I'm not surprised who knows how many other times he's done this!"

Everyone nodded and murmured in agreement and then it hit me like a train. Sasuke might not have been the first. Someone else has gone through this and never spoken up. Who knows how long this guy would have been going around doing it.

The judge used his gavel and the room turned to silence. The lawyer spoke, "Where is that man? Is he here in this room? Whats his name?"

Hidan looked down his eyes turned lifeless again. "His name was Deidara Uzumaki, he committed suicide" Hidan said looking up.

My heart plummeted to the ground. Kisame did that to Deidara. Deidara was blonde. I'm blonde. I'm his brother. I was his brother. Me. Me. He was after me. He connected Deidara and I.

The lawyer continued to speak, I wasn't listening. I could hear water, it sounded like I was under water. He wanted the blonde. Deidara. Sasuke.

Sasuke. This is for Sasuke. He did this to Sasuke not me. Tears fell from my eyes. Sasuke. He wants me here. I can't stay here. I looked up and looked at Kisame, he was looking at me. He winked.

I quickly stood up and walked out of the room, I ran to the nearest garbage can and let everything out. My breakfast came up my throat, tears fell from my eyes and I screamed into the garbage can. I let everything out. All the tears from last night, all the tears from Deidara, all the tears from losing the house, losing a part of myself. It all came out and I couldn't stop it.

I cried and sobbed and cried and sobbed. It was a never ending cycle because I keep everything in. Because I feel too much, because I worry too much, because I just want a normal life and I can never get one.

I fell in love with a person who I will not marry. I fell in love with a black haired asshole who needs me right now but I can't be there because I'm weak.

Weak. Hurt. Broken.

I walked to the nearest bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I washed my mouth out and washed my hands.

I stared at myself, why did this impact me so much. I didn't go through the pain of the rape.

I couldn't do anything but watch Sasuke destroy himself over this, I watched him scrub too hard, I watched him cry in his sleep, I watched him go through moments of nothing but loud wails and tears. All I could do was watch and wish this never happened.

I walked out of the bathroom and sat on the bench next to the court room. I will wait in silence.

I stared at my hands the gross taste of vomit was still in my mouth. I waited and waited the time felt like it was going by but it wasn't fast enough. Or slow enough.

Foot steps echoed the quiet hall. More followed, more, and more. The trial was over I stood up and waited for the room to clear. We've been here for almost five hours. I stood outside the door and waited.

The door opened, Suigetsu came out in front of Sasuke with Itachi and Kakashi at his side. I walked over to Sasuke and looked at him.

"I'm sorry" I said and looked at everyone, "You wanted me in there. I left" I whispered feeling the shame.

Sasuke calmly approached me, I looked up when Sasukes arms wrapped around my shoulders and his face fell into my neck. I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him.

"He's going to prison" Sasuke whispered.

"Prison" I repeated, "he's going to prison" tears fell from my eyes as a small smile made its way to my face. Prison.

I felt Sasuke cry on me, I held him tighter and closed me eyes. Wrapped in my arms I felt his knees buckle he fell to the ground. I went down with him never letting him go. He cried.