Life is Life

Tears

It's been a 5 days and I haven't gone to school, every time my mom comes up and asks me what I'm doing I just say I'm not feeling well and then I cry when she leaves.

She's not having anymore of it though she's getting very, very annoyed with me home but I just don't want to go to school. I don't want to see Sasuke.

So here I am sitting on my bed looking at the ceiling. I wonder if what I am feeling is even right, should I even be feeling this hurt? I mean it's just a high school fling thing that I wanted to last longer but me thinking that was even a stretch. I shouldn't have put so much emotion into this relationship but I did and even now I still I love him.

I mean I really should find a way to forgive him really I should. I know that's what you do when you love someone you look at everything you love about them and you think about the mistake they made and if they'll ever do it again. The only problem is I hate cheaters, it might be a value I have but I hate cheaters and I always told myself I wouldn't ever be one or ever forgive one and here I am. Fighting with myself trying to forgive a cheater.

I heard steps stop outside my door and I do feel bad that my mom and dad are so worried about me but I don't know. I can't tell them anything. I could tell them that I had a relationship with someone and ask them what I should do but I already know the answer. It's the answer everyone gives 'once a cheater always a cheater don't go back' and I never understood why people did go back. That was until now.

Perhaps that is the answer perhaps it is true, but another thing I believe and always have. People change. I have always felt that way and I know how hard it is to believe for some people but I always try to find the better in everyone.

I'm sure I know myself at least a little and I am sure that I will be loving Sasuke for a very long time. Maybe if I look deep enough I can try and find a way. But at the same time I can't get over it! He cheated on me and I want to hate him more than anything and I do. But at the same time I don't.

I snapped out of my thoughts when my door opened and in stepped Suigetsu. I hope Kiba isn't with him I don't want to hear a 'I told you so' right now. No Kiba wouldn't be here, maybe I'm just secretly wishing he would forgive me or talk to me. Something.

Why? Why is Suigetsu here? Makes no sense. At all, just why is he here? We had like two good conversation we're not friends.

"Um, Naruto sorry to disturb you right now." Suigetsu muttered stepping into the room and shutting the door behind him.

I sighed loudly and sat up on my bed I motioned him over and he sat on the bed.
"Look I know Sasuke is probably the last thing you want to talk about right now, but we need to talk"

I shifted a little Suigetsu's voice sounded really serious and I'm not used to it not from him. I nodded my head I don't really want to talk right now.

"Look I know what Sasuke told you and I know that right now he isn't okay. I didn't think Sasuke would willingly cheated on you, I still don't."

I looked at him with wide eyes and shook my head my heart was starting to race and I can only assume the worst right now. "No he said he slept with Neji. He-" Suigetsu put his hand in the air silencing me.

Why isn't he listening! I'm hurt too.

"I know but you don't understand I talked to him. I wasn't sure why he would cheat on you he seemed so happy and you're a good guy"

"Suigetsu you shouldn't-"

"No Naruto listen this is important. He told me he has no memory of sleeping with anyone. He said he was so drunk black out drunk he doesn't remember a thing." I shook my head back and forth this doesn't make any sense.

"No! that's not what he told me!" I shouted while standing up, I started pulling my hair my thoughts were running wild. What is he implying? What is he trying to say, was Sasuke raped? That's what I'm getting from this.

"Shut up! I know what he told you but I'm telling you its not the truth!" Suigetsu yelled at me, he grabbed my hand and pulled me back into my seat on my bed.

"Sasuke can't remember a thing he said he woke up in a bed naked and there was blood on the sheets. He said he ran into the closest shower and then quickly left the house."

"Suigetsu" My voice cracked and tears were brimming my eyes "You don't think he was raped?" a stray tear fell down my cheek but soon more were following.

Suigetsu looked at me a sad expression "I think he might have been" he whispered. I closed my eyes my blood froze I don't know what to do, but he needs someone. He might need me.

But then why wouldn't he just tell me? Why would he tell me that he slept with Neji?

I stood up and looked at Suigetsu "we need to tell someone!" I shouted.

"He wont talk to anyone! I already told Itachi and he's been trying to talk to Sasuke all day but he wont talk. I was lucky to even get anything out of him it's probably because he hasn't slept in days" Suigetsu stood up and looked me in the eyes "You need to talk to him"

I took a step back and blinked "What? No, no, no he wont want to talk to me!" I could feel myself becoming more and more angry.

"You don't know that! Please Naruto he needs someone he can trust. He trusts you." My throat felt like it was closing I couldn't speak I just stood there.
"Please think about it, I really need to get back I'm sure Itachi is losing it."

I watched Suigetsu walk out of the room, my legs lost balance and I dropped to the ground my eyes hurt I was crying so hard. I punched the ground before getting back up I grabbed my lamp from the side of my bed and slammed it against the wall.

What the fuck just happened! What do I even do! I don't know I've never been so confused in my life.

I punched the wall and screamed. I just kept punching it over and over again my knuckles were bleeding and it felt like my throat was too.

I didn't look at the my door when it opened and I didn't struggle when I felt my dad restrain my arms and pull me into his chest. I let him and I cried. I've never felt like this, I can't imagine what Sasuke is feeling.