Life is Life

Vacation

Its been a couple of days since we got to the mountains I like to think I am a outdoorsy person. I like being outside and even though I suck at sports I still play then and like them. So when I saw my mom and dad skiing I wondered if I am truly their child. They are good, they were racing each other.

I can't even go to down the small hill without falling I wonder if Deidara was any good at sports. I can't believe my mom is so fucking athletic. What, why am I like this? How come I didn't get any sports abilities or anything other than being good at history.

I sat in the snow with the other younger kids who were either learning how to ski or tired. I had my skis off and was drawing circles in the snow. Bored. I miss Sasuke. I want to see him and hear his voice and have his warm body pushed up against mine because I am cold.

My mom and dad said that they have something important to talk about tonight so we get to eat dinner in the cabin we have to go buy food after all of this. Awesome. I wish my phone worked or I could at least see it! My mom and dad took it saying that I need to have fun and not worry about school or anything with my friends. I wonder if they can tell I've been in a bad mood lately well not all the time only when I think of Kiba.

He just pisses me off so much, he really shouldn't even be all that mad. I mean yeah I get it and I feel bad like really really bad but I feel like he should at least try to make things better right. Damn now I feel like an asshole for thinking that, I'm just mad that I got dragged outside for skiing after I told my mom the first time, I don't like skiing. I would rather sit in the cabin and read a book.

After my mom and dad were done they were smiling and laughing and my mom was gloating about her winning the race and my dad telling her that he let her. She laughed and he laughed and it just made me miss Sasuke even more. I want to laugh with Sasuke.

"Naruto, did you have fun skiing?" My mom asked me her smile bright as ever. I nodded my head and smiled at her. Why should I ruin her mood I've never seen her so alive.

"Want to pick a movie to watch tonight?" She asked me, "You can get snacks while we get something for dinner" my mom turned around and looked put the window both my mom and dad still smiling. I smiled at them, I love them. I'm glad they're happy.

When I got in the store I walked over to the snack section and just grabbed a bunch of shit, M&M's, more chocolate, chips. soda that I wont drink, more chips and popcorn. We're not going to eat any of this shit well we'll eat the chocolate and popcorn but the chips are for the car ride home.

I met up with my parents at the register we got in the car and drove to the cabin. My dad started the fire and the cabin instantly started to warm up. It's a cute little place with nice new appliances, I really like it.

During dinner we all sat at the small circle table and ate dinner we had spaghetti and bread. I love spaghetti. "Naruto" I looked up at my dad and finished my piece of bread.

"Yeah?" I asked grabbing another and some butter.

"Lets talk about Deidara"

I put the bread down and cautiously looked at my dad, I'm no longer hungry.

"What about him?"

My dad gave my mom a worried glance but she nodded her head. I looked at her and she smiled. Okay...

"Your mother told me that you're remembering him?" Why is my dad talking about this why isn't my mom. She's usually the one asking questions.

"Yeah I guess" I shifted uncomfortably I don't like this.

"There are things about your brother that you don't remember but we talked to the doctor and he said we should tell you somethings it might help with your memory" I nodded my head. Okay fine that could be good.

"Things like what?" Is it going to be about Deidara before he killed himself?

"Your brother was a very talented artist, he won many awards and contests his one piece is actually in a museum as you've seen." I smiled and nodded at them. I feel really happy and proud I just wish Deidara would've been here to see it.

"Your brother ended his life on a Tuesday afternoon, when you got home from school you found him. You called us and we called the police. They had to pull you off of him. Do you remember any of this?"

I shook my head "I remember finding him" I heard my mom gasp but I just looked at my dad my eyes stung but if I shut them tears would pour out.

"Deidara wrote a suicide note, we're not going to let you read it. Not yet at least" I stood up from my chair and moved closer to the table.

"Why not! I want to see the note!" I yelled its not fair that they're keeping this from me. Don't I deserve to see it. What can they possible be scared of.

"Naruto sit down." I did, I picked my chair up and sat in it.

"Your brother was diagnosed with cancer, do you remember that?" My heart dropped, Deidara had cancer?

I numbly shook my head, "Look Naruto, we want you to talk to us we know that you might be mad right now but Deidara killing himself had a big toll on everyone. Especially you we want to know if you want to talk about Deidara. We'll listen." My dad finished and went back to eating his dinner.

My mom did the same, her cheeks red and stained from tears. I can't believe Deidara had cancer there is still so much I don't know. I want to know, I want that note. But I shouldn't try and find it that could be a problem, I guess I just wait now.

The rest of the vacation was really fun and good I talked to parents about a lot of stuff including Kiba being mad at me I didn't give the exact truth but I did say he likes someone who liked someone else and hes hurting. My mom said to give him space he'll come back.

I like talking to my mom and dad I wonder if I should just tell them. I decided against it because I am scared. They don't seem like they will hate me but I am still scared.

Finally after a life time of being away from the internet and Sasuke we are going back. Everything is packed in the car I grabbed the chips and some water and sat in the back seat. The way home was filled with stories of Deidara and stories of me when I was little moments I don't remember but I trust they happened.

I fell asleep sometime during the trip and woke up to use the bathroom when I got back I fell asleep again. The trip lasted longer than it should only because we got stuck in a snow storm and had to stay in some motel for a couple days. I don't care, less school for me, but also more time away from Sasuke that's like what 2 weeks. Just about.

My dad woke me up when I got home we made it home in time for me to go to school, Friday. I said no. My mom insists. I fell asleep on my bed excited to see Sasuke not excited to go to school.