Suicidal Dreams

Not A Place To Be Or...

My mother always told me that the eyes were a doorway to someone's intentions, to their inner beauty.

For majority of my early teenage years, I never believed her. It was silly and absolutely impossible to look into one's eyes to see their real self.

That was until I met the boys, especially Kobra Kid. His eyes showed more than I could ever imagine, they just weren't light brown. I sound very cliche if I say they were like a sweet chocolate, yes and no. It was a sweet chocolate that melted from the slightest touch or could turn into a harsh color when cold.

It reflected him as a person very much, his eyes were kind hearted when you showed him happiness and affection. Turned a brutal tone that just made you want to breakdown because it was a bitter stare.

Seeing him distraught when I told him about my affair made me see a side I could never imagine. He was irritated as well as domineering, and it made me think he only ever did this when he didn't get his way with something important.

"Charlize? He's worried about you," Party cautiously sat on the edge of my bed.

"Let him be," I scuffed and turned away from him.

I shouldn't be the one in bed mopping around it should be the complete opposite. He had only asked for one thing from me.

One thing.

Laughter and pure glee was being spread around the diner. The boys had thrown a small party for our small weeding. A surprise from Party Poison, who had given us his blessing.

"Uh I'd like to make a toast," Kobra stood on one of the booth tables.

Nervously he looked over at me before continuing his speech with determination.

"I've come to realize that I am responsible and a protector for those I love and in return ask for just respect and attention. This was honestly the hardest task in my life when it came to Honey, she was volatile. In the end I think this really made us connect or maybe it was our way of creating together. All in all I have to say to you Honey is To The End."

I pushed my thoughts aside when Party pried for more responses and not just soft grunts. Ever so often he would try to get a laugh out from me but, failing every time.

"Gerard, I cant describe to you how it feels to see the man I love walk away from me because I hurt him so badly. I can't tell you how much more I miss him now compared to when he was dead."

He stayed silent like I imagined he would. I stirred away again knowing he was done talking to me for the day.

"You and Kobra are a duo, a dynamic duo because you are volatile and he is controlled. He knows you are impulsive, uncontrolled, and vulnerable. Which is why he helps guide you! He knows! Don't give up on him, don't let him give up on you."

My leg was lifted from beneath the blankets and helped my foot kick him off my bed.

"Two motorbabies at it always clash."

There was an other dip in the bed that made me question who else was in the room. I sluggishly sat up to stare at the other person.

"Two motorbabies at it always clash." Kobra stared at me with an impassively.

Party showed me a sorry face before retreating out of the room rather quickly. Slamming the door shut and presumably placing something beneath the door knob because it rattled for a bit until it just stuck slightly upwards.

"What happened to the end?

My eyes threatened to spill tears once again. Letting go of the buzzed feeling I felt in my body was undesirable.