The Weirder Thoughts of an Aquarius(me)

Weird week

Y'all I think it might of been this week that I decided it'd be a good idea to have a coffee on Monday or maybe it was last week but my anxiety has been starting to kill me. I've had a lot of weird thoughts so I'll write the ones I remember here.

On Monday I was actually pretty happy. It was probably the best Monday I've ever had but then on Tuesday anxiety got in the way. It was something after school that made me feel so good but I can't pin point what exactly. I'll just be glad I was happy though.

Tuesday was an anxious mess. I ended up trying to figure out time travel and had a near mental break down at night. To time travel you'd need to go faster than the speed of light(which is sadly impossible) and be about 50 light years away from your destination. Next going at 2 times the speed of light you would reach your destination 50 years ago. I have a few ideas on how to keep yourself from earasing itself from existence but still working on it. It has stuff to do with ripping space holes and stuff.

Wednesday was just shit. My bus got stuck in snow so I missed all of first period and plus the one girl said that the pacer test was going on in gym and so I had anxiety all day because of that so that was crap. Although it wasn't her fault, it's just my own brain overreacting to stuff. Plus the day before I started an Index of Dates where I draw whatever I want on an index card and store all of them with a rubber band. I also felt like my parents were treating me as if my opinions were inferior to theirs so that happened.

I also missed lunch for Geometry to make up the class and had to lunch during study hall so I just accepted the fact I was going to barf that day but guess what, no pacer test. Once again wasting my time worrying over stuff that doesn't matter. Good job me, time whale spent.

Thursday was also bad but not as bad as Wednesday. I talked to Pisces kid on the way home and it felt nice to complain to someone about my anxiety even it was from several months ago. Just verbalizing my thoughts makes me feel better so that was a relief to be crushed by my parents yet again. They ended up making me feel as if my problems aren't as important so that was nice. Also all the Wattpad drama that I've been desperately trying to avoid. I don't even wanna stalk it anymore. It's so petty and just ugh. Makes me feel worse cuz once again I present my problem to someone(s) only to have them respond with how they too have worse problems so I get nothing solved.

And today Friday, school was good.  I got new seats in Geometry, starting learning triganometry(can't even spell it). I got a really good approval from my English teacher about my essay. Orchestra was great because it was a study hall. History was cool cuz I got to use VR goggles although it was only looking at a 360° image and you couldn't move still really cool. Lunch was good and science was good cuz it too was mostly a study hall and study hall right after was good. Gym I got to walk on a treadmill for most of the time which was easy and not stressful. French was also easy because I got to take notes before my quiz on bs stuff I should be learning in history. But I got home and within a few hours the drama had invaded discord(I'll make a drama rant later aka directly after writing this chapter) so that was a bummer. So I feel pretty lonely rn, but I'll be okay. Everything is fine. Just FINE

Bai, uvu

Have a better day than me. Oh yeah I'm going rock climbing tomorrow with a friend so if that goes badly I think I can conduct that I'm like girl in a porno and life is like a guy in porno and it's just straight up fcking me.

Narwhal narwhal narwhal end.