fortuity | jhs

31: 시간

time

· ──── ·𖥸· ──── ·

seokjin

the time, it's something that we never have any control of, yet something that we try to take a grasp on.

the time, it's something so wrecking — killing the chances of virtue to happen, it's something we underestimate for too many times.

the time when yoongi called me at precisely four o'clock is where i know time have decided to let everything go south.

the time when his shaky —clouded with fear and worry voice echoes in my ear is when i found out that this is the time where i hoped wouldn't exist.

the time when i scribbled those few little white lies over a piece of torn paper, rushed by the panic soaring within me is when i know time is repeating itself.

the time where the grip on my fingers wouldn't let loose on the steering wheel, flooring the pedal to rush myself towards the hospital is the time when i realized everything happens for a reason, even if it is a mere reenactment.

the time when i saw her being rushed in to the emergency room by yoongi. his faltering steps to only be pressured by the weight of her, carried carefully in his gentle arms, her neck and knee hanging lethargically on both his forearms.

the time is inevitably cruel both for the good and bad, in this moment i cannot apprehend where i would stand on — where my believes tend to side.

"are you both her guardian?"

comes a man in between his late twenties to early thirties dressed in a white coat, like those doctors one would see from dramas.

"yes!" we both answer, quite frantically as we both jolt up from the hard cushion embedded on the couch in the waiting area.

"her parents are—"

"out of town." i cover, quickly cutting yoongi's word to not raise any skepticism from the doctor.

no they're not, at least not her mom.

"right, i'm assuming you're the guardian?" he looks at me, scanning my profile with a suspicious stare.

with a deep breath i brace myself to be ready in answering any of his questions. "kim seokjin, i'm the registered guardian. it's in her biodata," i say factly, completely sure and aware that my name is written somewhere in her biodata.

he opens her health records, pupils dilating when he stops from the seemingly reading marathon through her records.

"now that i am entirely sure, are you both aware of her past visits?" he looks up after closing the file with no suspicion this time, now placing his stare on yoongi's exhausted expression.

"we both are aware of that, please proceed to the fact straight away," i try to say patiently not letting my rage to go lose, making sure that i stay stoic in times as this one.

"i'll make it easy for you both. her ct and mri scans shows nothing abnormal in her brain activity, she's too tired or stressed and that's perhaps why she fainted, she should be awake by tomorrow." he looks at both of us with wondering orbs.

"this wasn't the hospital you both came when it happened now was it?"

the doctor for somehow becomes more aware of the situation which overcomes my expectations.

he lets out a stifling laugh, lowly that i'm the one who picks it before meeting the doctor's eyes with bare emotions. "it isn't," yoongi answers, bittersweet for us to acknowledge it.

"well then, her room is on the fifth floor, number 548, turn left from the information desk and keep walking straight," he says with a subtle warm grin before he leaves the both of us.

we both walk through the lonely hallways, after numerous steps of stairs he finally speaks, "i knew it was a bad idea."

i stop at my track whilst resting my hand on his shoulder. "yoongi, we need her to remember again. it's been too long."

"yes it has been long, but what will you s– tell him, what kind of explanation wouldn't make him break?" he sways my hand off from his shoulder forcefully, staring deep inside me where my guilt takes place.

i haven't thought about this.

"the truth would break him, it's repeating again except this time the truth will be spilled," he says midway to shouting, raising his voice in another volume — his eyes almost teary as they glimmer from the light.

"what would you tell him? that he's been living without any recalls?"

that's the last thing he says before pacing his pace, running through the hallway to find her room, and when he does he stops — his head tilting to take one last look at me before carrying himself in to her room.

the time feels to tick faster as i think, that time isn't something you mess with.

what will i say to you hoseok?

sorry wouldn't be enough to replace that void.

••
update!
this chapter is incredibly important, jin's impact in hoseok's life is quite big so his pov was necessary to be written down. hope you feed yourself with foods and fluids enough for your health, xxsunny.