It is Complicated (Harry Styles Fanfic)

CHAPTER 35

HARRY’S POV

            After some shit guy talk I received from Zayn and Louis, they set my bruised wrists and ankles free. Thanks to Erick, our managing partner for The New. He rings my phone, call after call and I guess, the two-acting-all-mature-about-this-shit-love-talk thought that it might be important or something urgent.

            He told me I that me and Niall should meet Mr. Milton. Great. Isn’t it fucking great?

            I made excuses not to come but according to him, Niall won’t be able to go either. So, I don’t have the fucking choice.

            I should just act cool then. I don’t even know if this Mr. Milton is a close relative of my little miss. Their family is too big in the business world.

            I hope that this guy is an old fat ass businessman who doesn’t care at all, or who does not have time to go over some show business issues.

            I left Louis and Zayn drinking and messing in my place after few drinks of beer they bought, pretending to listen to their shitty advices.

            No. Not really shitty, to be honest. They have few points there and there.

            They told me that Niall have talked to Charis about all of this shit situation and that’s why Niall had been wanting to talk to me. If he really wanted to, he can just crash in my place like these two nosy-beer-drinking-stoners did.

            “But, Ni doesn’t want to just crash in here because he wanted to talk to you when you’re ready.” Zayn obviously had read my face.

            “But,” Louis butted. “In our case, we can’t wait for you to be ready because time is precious. A girl like her,” He smirked and looked at Zayn who meets his gaze. “Won’t wait for a coward like you forever.”

            That may be really offensive and I can just slash out that shit motherfucking mouth of Louis for saying things like that in my face, but that woke me up and make me re-think. Re-think of everything. From the day I first met her, from all and each day that had passed that I had been thinking of her, wanting to see her and talk to her. The joy that spread warmth throughout my body when she gave me her number which was already there, fuck.

            The thrilling feeling of getting to be so I can reminisce the time that we were eating lunch together with her homemade healthy sandwiches. Her soft-spoken self as she spends some of her time to that blind kid from some foundation, I can’t remember.

            The way she just let herself cry in my arms, her face buried to my chest, because, maybe because she trusts me. Only that, maybe, maybe something’s stopping her.

            Fuck! Why haven’t I thought of all of these before? What the hell is wrong with me? Something might be stopping her from telling me that she and Niall were long best friends. But what could that be?

            Is that Niall? No. Niall didn’t know either. Or maybe she and Niall have unfinished business that they left from Ireland? But, she didn’t seem to be as happy as I expected her to be, when she saw Niall approaching her to hug her back at the studio where I set them up.

            If it wasn’t Niall? What could be stopping her? Is it because of me, being Harry Styles? The know womanizer from the British-Irish boy band? Or is it me, dating Kendall? Fuck. I didn’t think this through. All of this. Why are all of these just coming in?

            I should talk to Niall soon.

            I should know what’s going on between them. I should make that all clear and from there I can make my decision. I hope I wasn’t too late for everything. I hope I wasn’t too late for my little miss. I hope she waits for a little more time. I sure hope too, that there’s nothing between her and Niall and they’re just friends and will be just forever best friends, nothing more. Just friends.

            The New is quite packed when I arrived. There are still few young people lining up at the side just in case they’ll be able to get in, though they knew that they’ve got to have passes or book themselves to get in. Why don’t just book in advance to save time instead of lining up under a cold moonlight?

            Thank goodness Erick listened to me and Niall to have this VIP parking space. I went straight to the VIP entrance and made my way to the kitchen. After asking for some food and nice drink to try, checking out few customers and familiar artists by the bar, I decided to check on Erick in his office.

            The smoke inside the pub made me feel really uncomfortable and dizzy plus the fact that I have taken little beer before coming here and the taste tests from the kitchen.

            I bumped into someone, a familiar figure of a girl, her hair tied up in a familiar bun on top of her head, as I make my turn to Erick’s office.

            As soon as she turned her head up to meet my eyes, I saw the shinny and glistening green orbs I’ve been thinking all day everyday. I haven’t realized how much I missed staring at her eyes, then scan through her face then to her whole being.

            Her eyes were full of meaning as it started to water. Her cheeks which are perfectly colored, turned into a pale nonliving thing. Her attractive small lips that I had been dying to kiss and taste automatically opened as she let out a very silent gasp.

            I wonder if she can hear what’s running in my head right now. I wonder if she thinks the same as I do. I wonder if her time stops like mine did, just to admire her perfect features that I fucking missed.

            She looks so perfect like how she always is to me. She looks okay and even better. She looks fine then bothered. Is it because she saw me? Is it because we’re here and the whole world stops to give us time, to give us more time together? To give me fucking more time to take in what I am seeing?

            I felt so weak.

            She wanted to say something. I know, anytime soon, she’s going to say something, but words seemed to be trapped inside her chest, bouncing up and down her cage, punching her heart because of pain, hurt and maybe guilt? Or maybe, that’s what I am feeling right now?

            I am in so much pain for not knowing soon. For hoping that finally, I met the one.

            I am so hurt that she didn’t tell me. I am so hurt that she and Niall knew each other before I did. I am so fucking hurt for realizing that Niall know so much about her more than I could ever know.

            Then the guilt. Voices that kept on bugging my brain that send lightning struck to my heart. Letting me know, letting me feel how stupid and dumbass I am for letting all of this to happen. Am I serious to let her slip away?

            Zayn is fucking right. I know. I know and I would want to make myself believe that she’s worth it. Because, hell I know!

            But I know too, that I am not ready to talk to her.

            As soon as I said those words in my brain, my heel was quick to turn the other direction, my mouth to say some apologies and just leave her like that, again.

            Louis was right too, I am a coward. A fucking big shit coward. Do I even deserve her?

___________________________________________
This is supposed to be uploaded tomorrow, but I can't wait to write what's next and I never been more excited than I am feeling right now. This may be shorter but we are getting nearer to some more intense chapters. YIEEEEP! <3 xx VOTE PLEASE? xx