Is He... Gay!? (boyxboy)

Chapter 42

Guess who's in the picture >.> 

*James POV*

"Grant, stop moving you big baby"

"But it hurts!", he responds flinching away from my hand. We moved into the kitchen so I can clean the blood off his face finally and now he's acting like a 3 year old. 

"Grant! I have to clean it!", I yell clearly getting irritated. 

He flinches away again so I grab the back of his head and snatch it forward. 

"Ow! James, you're roughing me up!", he yells, pouting. 

I sigh, "Fine. Clean it off yourself."

"Wait, no James you can clean me!", he yells while I'm walking back out of the kitchen. 

I don't even know how I feel right now. I don't know if I want to be with him even though I KNOW that I love him. 

I just don't know if I'm in love with him. 

I'm still thinking about that other guy... 

"James you don't have anymore pop tarts", Grant says walking up behind me with a pop tart in his hand. 

And STILL bloody. 

I rolled my eyes, "Grant, It's time for me to go to sleep.", I say realizing the su is coming up anytime soon. 

He looks at me, "Can I sleep here tonight?"

"Yes. I wouldn't just kick you out", I say heading upstairs. He's following me so I quickly turn around and place a hand on his chest. 

"Grant... listen, I know that I said I forgive you and I-I do. I know we had that... make-out session downstairs and I know what that would make it seem like.. I just don't know if I'm ready to, you know do what we were doing be-"

"I get it James, you're not ready to jump back into a relationship -or whatever is was- right away. I get that. I hurt you, and I can give you as much space as you need. Just know that I will always be ready when you are.", he says, with a smile on his face and turns around heading back downstairs. 

The smile on his face was an act. I could see right through it. 

It made me want to hold him and let him sleep in my bed. Let him hold me until the sun came all the way up. Then, we would shower...

I can't let him consume me anymore than he already has. I gotta heal on my own. To make sure that I can be without him if I choose not to be. 

Because at the end of the day. I'm still hurt. And my love for him will cloud my judgement. I can't let that happen. 

I wake up the next morning and head down the stairs ready to make breakfast for Grant and I. 

"Grant! I'm making pancakes, if you want some come into the kitchen!", I yell ready to see a shirtless Grant run into the kitchen. 

Nope. Didn't happen. Instead I got dead silence. 

"Grant?", I say walking into the living room. There is no sign of him.

But there is an envelope on the table with my name on it. I pick it up and open it, taking out the letter. 

Be happy James and I'll be happy. I love you and I always will. 

I close the letter and place it back on the table. I guess he's gone. 

I head back into the kitchen to continue making me some pancakes when there's a knock at my door. I wipe my hands on my apron and head to the door, opening it with a smile. 

"Hey James, I don't think we got to finish our conversation."