Is He... Gay!? (boyxboy)

Chapter 48

*James POV*

He said he hates me. I don't blame him. I deserve every fucking but of hate from him.

I did it because I wanted him to be hurt like I was, but what he did was different and I knew that.

I fuck up so bad and now he's gone. I'll never get my baby back and it fucking hurts.

Including my body.

"Sit still", Maya says after I ran to her house after what happened and sat on her porch until she got there. I was crying, arms and legs bruised purple. She instantly pulled me into a hug and asked what happened. After I told her, she led me into the house and started icing my bruises.

"Good thing he didn't bruise that face of yours", she says stifling a laugh. She's trying to make me smile but it won't work. I'm mentally killing myself as we speak.

"Maya, I-I don't k-know what to do. I love him so much. God, why am I so stupid?", I'm crying again, tears saying her shirt has she holds me to her.

"James, what you did was the stupidest thing you've ever done. That doesn't mean he's gone forever. That doesn't mean you can't get him back".

"Yes it does! He said he hates me!"

She looks at me skeptically, "yeah, he said he hates you right now, not forever. I would hate you too".

"Should I talk to him?"

"No, give him some space for a while. You guys need some time apart to heal and be able to talk without it becoming a damn brawl".

"Okay.", I said realizing that she was right. I know if I go over there now, nothing good is going to come out of it, " I'm gonna go home".

She nods her head and lets me go. I get up and grab my book bag and head out the door towards home.

My heart is tearing itself apart and my mind is telling me to just fall off the face of the earth.

I never thought that I'd end up losing my virginity to someone I barely knew. Someone I didn't love or plan to.

I finally make it to my house and see the same boy helped me ruin my relationship with Grant.

"What are you doing here Micah?", I say more harshly than I intended.

"Are you okay? I haven't spoken to you since... we did it".

"I'm fine, can you please leave?", I say hoping he'd just go.

"I wanna talk about us James. I- I think I really like you".

"No you don't Micah. And even if you did, I'm still in love with Grant.", I fold my arms and roll my eyes.

"Maybe I can change your mind. I won't hurt you like he did, hell I even told him to never hurt you again".

So that's how he found out.

I push pass Micah and walk up to my door trying to unlock it. Instead, Micah grabs my arm and turns me around.

I'm tired of everyone putting their fucking hands on me.

I snatch my arm out of his grip and glare at him.

"Look, James.... I don't think he's the right guy for you. Shit, he beat me up and then turned around and put his hands on you! Yeah, I know about that".

How the hell....

"That's none of your concern, I deserved it anyway."

"No, you deserve to be kissed and hugged and loved like you should be. I want to give that to you".

He looks at me with pleading eyes.

I sigh, "Micah, okay. Give me some time to think and I'll talk to you later, cool"?

He nods his head and walks away, leaving me to my own thoughts.

He doesn't fucking like me, he only wants me for my ass.

I know that Grant will get over this and then we'd be together again. He wouldn't let me go that easily.

I walk inside with guilt built up inside, eating me.

I'm going to call him.

I don't care what I told Maya, he deserves an explanation.

I walk upstairs to my room and grab my phone, my fingers already sweating.

ring ring ring

"What do you want James"?

God, even though he's upset, his voice sends shivers down my body.

"I want to explain what happened".

"You want to explain how you ended up fucking some random? Go ahead, explain then". I can hear the venom in his words.

"Look, I swear I didn't mean for it to happen Grant. I-I was hurt! And when he showed up he was being a great guy and then I kissed him-"

"So you initiated everything huh"?

"No! I mean... yes, I did. But it meant nothing to me! I was thinking if you the entire time"!

I lied straight through my teeth. Grant wasn't on my mind. I knew exactly who was behind, under and on top of me.

"I'm so sorry Grant. Please, don't... don't leave me". I can hear the desperation in my voice but I don't care. I love him.

"James, I have to. What you did... it wasn't because someone was blackmailing you or forcing you. You did it out of your own will and I can't eat over that... not now. We need to break up.... completely. I need time to myself. Good bye James".

With that, the dial tone in my ear crush every bit of hope I had for us.

He doesn't want to be with me anymore. He hates me.

I grab my phone and dial Micah's number.

I'm sobbing now and all I can think about is the comfort I need.

"Hello"?

"Micah... c-can you come over?"

So guys, how's it going?

(Waits for answers)

I'm doing so-so right now. My significant other's birthday is around the corner and I'm scrambling trying to come up with the money I need to celebrate. With this gov. Shutdown, it's been crazy. I'm not making any money and life is difficult, hence why my updates are sucky and so are the chapters. So I'm sorry guys.

Btw, Kace and Kobe's story is coming to my mind and I was wondering which title is better.

"Catching K's" or "Calling K's" or something totally diff if hat doesn't work out.

Anyways, love you guys.