Is He... Gay!? (boyxboy)

Chapter 46

*James POV*

I stop in the middle of the hallway to catch my breath.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!

He saw, he had to. How am I going to explain this?

I smack my hands against a locker and groan in frustration.

"Woah, you okay"?

I look behind me to see the only person that can help me right now.
"Oh thank god, Maya. I need your help.", I say looking at her with puppy dog eyes.
No one knows what I did yet... well besides the person I did it with. It happened yesterday and I don't think any of them would have liked to wake up to a text saying 'Hey! I finally fucked a guy!' and then proceed to tell them it wasn't Grant.

"What's wrong chicken butt?", she says looking at me with those clueless eyes.

"I'll- I'll tell you when we go somewhere not here.", I respond looking around at all the students.

"Okay?"

I grab her arm and pull her into an empty class room.

"I had sex".

She looks at me with a confused look, "You did what? I thought you and Grant weren't together or talking or something?", she responds.

"It- It wasn't with Grant.", I say lowering my head.

"What do"- she pauses and puts her hands over her mouth like an angry mom would, "what do you mean it wasn't with Grant? Who THE FUCK was it with then!?", she says still letting her anger out.

"It was with that guy I met at the party. He came over to my house and... and it just happened.", I say words shaking as I try to hold back my tears.
"You know you're gonna have to explain A LOT of shit to the others... including Grant. I mean, you have to tell him you don't want to be with him. He needs to know".

"Who said anything about not wanting to be with Grant?", I question, eyebrow raising.

Her mouth shapes an 'O'.

"So... you're telling me you slept with someone you don't even know and still want to be with Grant? Are you going to tell him"?

"He probably already knows! God, I'm so stupid!", I say smacking my forehead.

" How would he- ohhhhh shit James that's fucking huge", she says after I pull my scarf back off my neck.

"Yeah I know, and Grant tried to talk to me earlier but I ran off and MAGICFUCKINGLLY my scarf comes off. I know he had to see it, I just fucking know it."

She starts to pace around the room placing her finger on her chin. She does this when she's thinking.
"You need to tell him now before anyone else does... like the guy you slept with", she says looking at me, "You don't want him going through what you did right? I mean hat would be horrible James."

I stare at her for a while thinking about how, if and why I should tell him. I mean, do I want to put him through that? I do wish he could feel what I felt so he could have a true understanding of the hell I went through.

But I'm also not a monster.

"I'll tell him. I'll tell him next time I see him.", I say biting my nails nervously. I'm not ready.

"You're gonna be okay, James. Stop biting your nails.", she responds and with that she leaves.

I stand there contemplating on wether or not I should tell Grant now or wait a while.

I mean, I think I can make him wait for a litttttle but. I don't have to tell him right away... do I?

I sigh and grab my book bag and head out the empty classroom.

My next period is with Grant and some do my other friends.

How am I going to make it out alive?

I walk down the hall with my head down until I reach my classroom. I peek my head up and weight is lifted off my chest when there is no Grant in the classroom. I realize that I'm the only person in the classroom.

I check my watch and see that I arrived 10 minutes early so I sit in my desk and put my head down; I need a break.

I don't know how my life ended up so damn difficult. I mean, in the sense of living one boy and fucking another. How do these hoes in school deal with all that?

On the other hand, Micah is really good... in all aspects. Grant however already hurt me in a very big way. Should I try to give Micah a chance? Should I just drop Grant altogether?

Even thinking that made my stomach drop. I'm in love with Grant. If I ever see him with anyone else I might explode. He's been there for me when I was at my worst.

But Micah... he's so kind and clearly likes me a lot. Maybe he's the actual one for me.

Maybe I should just drop them both and leave boys alone.

But I literally just had sex for the first time and I might be addicted.... even if my ass hurts a little.

The bell rings bringing me out of my thoughts and I lift my head. Almost everyone is here and I had no idea. I look around behind me and notice that Grant still isn't here.

I look towards the door and I literally fall out of my chair. I crawl to the back of the classroom so I won't be seen.

Why I'm the actual fuck is Micah talking to Grant?