Gwendolyn Porter (Avengers Fanfiction)

Chapter Twenty-Three: Into the Mind, Part 2

I shake my head frantically, my heart beating faster than I've ever felt it.

"No, Loki, no!" I scream to him, "It can't be... it cant be!"

Wind rushes past me as I fall into another memory. My mother raising her hand to hit me as I cower. All of the times my mother tried to hurt me, and his strong arm was there to take the blow in my place.

"It can't be, it can't be, it can't be," I mutter, hands flying to my head, tightening around my hair.

I feel my hair flip as my mind takes us to my home. I see myself, I have tears in my eyes, looking up at my father who's kneeling before me.

All the times I hated people at school for making fun of me, and my dad told me that I was perfect the way I was.

All the times my dad held my tiny little hand in his big one, and I knew I was safe because I was with him.

I snap my head to look at Loki. He's mouthing something, but I can't hear him. I can't hear anything over the sound of the wind rushing in my ears. I can barely see anything at this point.

And then I hear a snap. I look down to see the strand that connected Loki and I hanging at my feet. If he's gone, that means that the people on the outside can't see where I am. Leaving me to figure this out on my own.

Crap.

"Loki, Loki, Loki," I mutter, trying to think of him, get the picture of him in my mind. But it's too much. It's all too much. My hands shake and the feeling in my chest empties to where all I feel is a tight pang.

All of the times he took me to get ice cream on Coney Island when I was hurt or did well in school.

All the times he kissed me softly on my forehead as I fell asleep.

All the times he helped me with my homework and I loved it because he was a genius.

All the times I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him so tight he teased that he'd die.

All the times–no!

Get it together Gwen! He betrayed you! Now find Loki and get your butt back home.

My heart races, anxiety rolling through my like a wave I know I wont survive from.

No, stop, think. Just think. Breath.

What does April always say? In for seven, hold for eight, out for four.

I do as she's suggested and take in deep breaths, letting them out slowly. I don't stop until my heart slows.

Now think, Gwen. For once in your life use your head.

Loki... I construct him in my mind, putting him together like a puzzle. Tall, long black hair, smug smirk, sharp jaw, high cheekbones. luminescent blue eyes. His eyes that hold so many secrets and untold stories. I want to hear them all. So I think of his eyes as if they were staring right at me. Then all of a sudden, they are.

"Gwen!" He cries, wrapping his arms around me in a hug, picking me up off the ground.

I look at him, eyebrows up, eyes wide, mouth open. He's hugging me.

He quickly drops me and I stumble back.

"What-you were-and I was-but now we're-" he stutters, the first time I've ever seen him even remotely thrown off.

And as much as I want to make fun of him for it. I hate this place and need to leave as soon as possible, before I sink further into insanity.

"Alright," I interrupt, "we can talk later, for now, get me out of here."