kill your mind: joshler

twelve : let it be said what the headache represents

"tyler, josh is here to see you!" max sung out, and tyler could hear the glee in his voice.

it was as if max was glad tyler was talking to someone other than himself, and possibly wanted to get rid of tyler as soon as possible.

it was also as if max knew tyler wasn't going to leave his bed to see josh that friday evening, so he sent him, josh up instead.

"hey" tyler could barely hear josh's footsteps on the stairs and now he was standing at his door?

tyler turned his back to josh on the bed because he was still mad at him. or maybe it was because his cheeks were tinted red again.

"hey" josh said softer, and his hands were on tyler's cheek now. feathery, soft and no body had touched tyler like that for a long time.

tyler couldn't understand josh. he prided himself in the fact he could study and quickly understand people but josh, he just couldn't. josh was too complex.

"you left" tyler found himself saying, and since when was his voice so small?

"i know, i know. douche move" josh insulted himself and looking into those dark brown eyes tyler felt like he was beating himself up.

"i'm sorry" tyler said, for what, he wasn't too sure but he didn't want to see josh's eyes so downcast, so, so blue.

the darkest shade of blue, but a bit light like the ocean but sadder, saltier.  the sadness in his eyes seemed ubiquitous but who was tyler to decide.

"for what?" josh's head was tilted to the side and for a minute, he looked a bit like max when he was confused about something.

"i dunno" tyler was sitting up on the bed now, close to the head and next to josh, hands in his lap and eyes trained on his fingers.

"tyler" josh said, bringing his index finger to raise tyler's chin, his brown eyes facing tyler. and josh's fingers burnt and made tyler words stop in his throat but it was good, a good kind.

josh didn't say anything but tyler, looking into josh's eyes, he felt like josh wanted to say a million things but didn't know how to voice them or even how to begin.

"josh" tyler wanted to say but his voice cut in his throat and all that left his lips were a silent whimper.

"i'm sorry" josh tried to smile but it was sad. a sad smile. and how come tyler just began talking to him but josh was already saying sorry for something? was tyler that toxic?

"do you wanna go somewhere?" josh asked, removing his finger from tyler's chin and tyler could finally breathe.

"skate park?" tyler asked. other than the graveyard and church, that was the only place tyler knew.

"no some where else" josh was smiling now and it was good, a good smile.

"where?"

"can't tell"

"oh" tyler sighed.

"just, let me show you something beautiful"