kill your mind: joshler

twenty : sometimes death seems better than the migraine in my head

"we're way too young to be this broken" tyler spoke to himself as he looked in the mirror.

he was way too young to be this toxic, this unstable, holding on to different emotions, hurting himself, hurting everyone. tyler was way too young to be this ruined, to have ear splitting migraines, to hate him self as much as he did, to hate the forest, to hate the trees, to hate the colours, to hate his remaining family, to be so dependent on particular objects to get him through the day.

tyler was way too young to want to die. but he realised in that moment of darkness, sadness doesn't have an age.

his hair looked decent enough for the job interview madison was dragging him to. it was at a library, while she was going to apply for a job at a music shop.

the only reason tyler was willing to leave the somber solace of his bed to find a job was because josh had asked him to. and since the library was pretty close to their hidden cliff, josh promised to wait for tyler there after school until he was done.

given tyler got off at four, that was.

so tyler tried his best to look presentable and suitable for the interview in his casual clothes but a nice shower and clothes couldn't hide the sadness in his heart and the bags under his eyes and tyler didn't know to put on make up so he just left the sign of his lack of sleep as it was.

"tyler are you ready?" madison yelled from downstairs. casting one last glance at himself in the mirror, tyler swallowed all his anxiety and walked out of the room.

madison kept tapping her left feet on the wooden floor board next to the door, "finally" she muttered when she spotted him, putting her phone away. she eye balled his attire of tight black jeans and boots and a white long sleeve with a white zip up hoodie, complemented with his glazing red beanie.

his skin was a bit pale making his brown eyes seem more prominent, along with his puffy red lips. he looked amazing.

"you clean up nice" she joked, opening the door and gesturing outside "after you"

as soon as tyler silently walked outside, he found josh coming out of his house, a bag slung over his shoulder. their eyes met for a brief moment and both of them couldn't help but smile at each other from across their homes.

josh brought his hand up to wave at tyler and tyler did the same thing, watching josh walk down the street towards the direction of his school.

"whoa" tyler flinched, forgetting madison was beside him for a moment, "what was that? and are you blushing?"

tyler realised he was indeed blushing and just the thought of how good josh looked in those skinny black jeans and band t-shirt and boots, red hair blazing, he couldn't help but blush harder.

madison teased him all the way to the store.