kill your mind: joshler

seventeen : i do not have writers block

"do you wanna just disappear sometimes?" tyler asked deeper into the night laying there in the dark with josh.

"every day" josh replied but tyler shivered because josh's lips touched tylers collar bones when he spoke.

"and now?" tyler sounded hopeful. he didn't want josh to disappear because that meant death and of course he'd thought of it a few times himself but now that josh was here, he didn't and he didn't want josh to leave him.

"no" there was something about the way josh said that two letter word that made it sound like he was very sincere and he genuinely meant every word.

so tyler smiled and said, "me too" cuddling deeper into josh as the big spoon.

"tell me about yourself, tyler" josh whispered and it felt like heaven, tyler wanted to stay in josh's arms forever but he didn't want to speak. he was afraid if josh knew who he really was, he wouldn't stay.

"please" josh said when tyler hadn't spoken, a small yawn escaping his lips and tyler couldn't help but smile.

"i'm tyler joseph and i'm seventeen, i smoke" was that really all there was to tyler joseph? definitely not but he didn't want josh to know more than he wanted to put out.

"my dad smokes" josh said pointedly and tyler thought, you've done it now, lost him like you lose every body.

"josh" i'm sorry, tyler wanted to say but josh interrupted.

"no i'm not... i'm just putting it out there, like for you to know. he's a drug and alcohol addict and i, just please don't get as far as him" josh was scared and tyler hoped he'd never be scared of him.

"okay. i promise" there was silence after that until tyler broke it, "that song you sang at the forest, what's it called?"

tyler couldn't see but josh was blushing and his eyes were glistening with excitement because no body had ever asked about his interest in music or instruments before.

"it's called forest. i haven't quite finished it yet though" josh admitted.

"sing it to me? the part you've finished?" tyler realised he was speaking alot but for some reason, he didn't mind. he was a lot more comfortable around josh.

just like before, josh didn't object as he sang slowly, softly and with such caution to tyler, as if tyler was fragile. no one had treated tyler like that before. no one had given him his own private concert.

"i don't know why i feed on emotion. there's a stomach inside my brain. i don't wanna be heard. i wanna be listened to. does it bother anyone else that someone else has your name. does it bother anyone else that someone else has your name? i scream, you scream, we all scream 'cause we're terrified of what's around the corner. we stay in place 'cause we don't wanna lose our lives. so let's think of something better. down in the forest, we'll sing a chorus, one that everybody knows. hands held higher, we'll be on fire. singing songs that nobody wrote."

"beautiful. you sound" tyler was looking for the word, "beauteous, like a poet"

and josh just smiled at the compliment but that was more thanks than tyler could ever ask for.