faking it ; shawmila ✅

chapter 13

Camila's POV

{present day}

I can't think straight. I love Shawn. But I can't not be with Anthony. Shawn obviously was furious with me and he said some pretty vile things about Anthony. I cant believe he would think he's lying about suicide, cause that's messed up.

There was a knock on my front door and I had to force myself to open the door. I made sure my eyes weren't teary but when I opened the door, my eyes started pouring tears again.

He didn't say anything. He just stood there staring down at me, with his hands in his pockets.

"I'm sorry." I sniffled and looked down at my feet. I bit on my lip to stop myself from sobbing.

I felt his arms around me and my head soon found shelter in his chest. His familiar smell made me feel relieved. I placed my hand over his heart and I began clutching his shirt, not willing to let him go.

"I love you." He told me, making me look up at him. I nodded and said "I know you do. I wish it didn't have to be this hard."
"Then don't make it so hard. Don't make me leave. Ask me to stay. Tell me you love me." He looked deep into my eyes.

I want to love you for the rest of my life. I don't want you to leave. I want all of you and nothing less but some things are just not meant to be. If we were meant to be, we would have been by now.

"Shawn where did we go wrong? Why do we find ourselves in this big mess all the time?" I asked calmly while resting my head on his chest.

"Maybe because I'm stupid. Maybe because I didn't tell you how much I loved you the first chance I got. Maybe because I called our first time a mistake. Maybe because I chose Nicole over you. Maybe because I thought you would never love me back." His voice started breaking.

We kept ignoring our feelings for each other for so long, we brushed past all of it, we kept being ignorant and now we're here. We're dying to be together but we can't.

"I have to be with Anthony. I'm sorry but this is just something I have to do." I said, crying. "I know this is selfish but..will you wait for me?"
"I'll wait forever. Even ten years from now, if you feel like coming back to me, I promise I'll be waiting. Just tell me when you're ready, I'm waiting."

His words made me sob even louder.

"Can I kiss you one last time?" Shawn asked. I looked at him and pulled him closer to me. I held the back of his neck and continued looking from his eyes to his lips.

I dont know when I'll be able hold him like this again. I don't know when I'll be this close to him again. I don't know when we'll be together again, if that'll ever happen, so I absorb all of it in slowly. His beautiful eyes, his perfect lips, his arms around me, I'll miss all of this.

Our lips touched and I felt the dampness on my cheek. We kissed needily yet softly. Neither of us wanted to let go so I tried to pull away first, but Shawn grabbed onto my face and continued kissing me.

The kiss started deepening, but I put my hands on his and removed them from my face, before breaking the kiss. He looked at me, the tears rolling down his face and he put his hands on my face again.