faking it ; shawmila ✅

chapter 8

Shawn's POV

{present day}

"I love you so much." I spoke into our kiss.
"I love you too." She replied, making the entire world stop for me.

Why did I wait this long to do this? Why did I have to be this ignorant? This could have been us three years ago and we wouldn't have to go through so much trouble. If only I had confessed my feelings for her sooner.

"Shawn." She flinched away from the kiss, with a finger on her bruised lip.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Does it hurt?" I placed my thumb on her swollen lip and caressed it lightly.
"Kind of." She replied, with a weak smile on her face.

"I'm sorry for being so stupid." I gently kissed her lips, making sure it wasn't hurting her. "I'm sorry that I put you through so much." I placed another soft kiss on her lips. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." I planted one last kiss to her lips.

Once I pulled back from her, all the light from her face faded, making me think I did something wrong.
"But Shawn.." She said. "Hailey-"

She must have seen us last night at the party, it's better to just be honest and tell her the truth.

I cut her off immediately "It was just one kiss I swear, it meant nothing."
"I wasn't even talking about that but okay." She pulled away from my arms, seeming slightly defeated.

I put her hands in mine and said "Camila, Hailey isn't my real girlfriend. My management set it up."

She didn't reply.

Why is she still upset? I don't get it.

"What is it?" I asked her. She looked away from me.
"You kissed her when you weren't even together? Why do you think that's okay? Why do you continue playing with other people's emotions like that?"

"Mila it was just a stupid mistake. The kiss didn't mean anything, I promise you. It was just in the heat of the moment, you and I have made mistakes like that too. It meant absolutely nothing to me." I tried explaining myself but once the last few words left my mouth, I knew I had messed it up again. Camila jolted her hand free from mine and walked into her bedroom.

"I didn't mean that. You-"
"I've just been one huge mistake right? We have always been a mistake and yet here you are, telling me you love me, then how do I know you won't feel the same way about Hailey a few years later or a few weeks later or a few hours later?"

No I can't mess this up again. I cannot stay away from her anymore. It will just kill me. I can't stop trying now.

I walked up to her and held her face in my hands. She removed my hands from her face and looked at me with teary eyes.

"Give me one chance, just one chance to prove to you what you mean to me and I'll show you. Mila I can't stay away from you anymore, it physically hurts me, to not be able to hold you or kiss you or tell you how much I love you when that's all I can think about when I'm around you."

I lightly stroked my thumb across the bruises on her face and then placed my hand on her cheek. I leaned in to kiss her, praying that she wouldn't turn me down, but soon her lips met mine.

The kiss was short lived but she placed her forehead on mine and whispered "Don't leave me. Ever. Please."
"I won't." I promised.

I'm never letting you go. Ever. This is all I've wanted for the past however long, but was too scared to admit it, and I refuse to let go of it now.