faking it ; shawmila ✅

chapter 19

Camila's POV

{present day}

I was sitting in the waiting room, resting my head on Hailey's shoulder as she held my hand in hers, continuing to comfort me. Karen and Aaliyah had returned from seeing Shawn but his dad was still talking to him so I waited patiently.

Maybe I'll tell him later. It'll break his heart if I tell him I have to leave him, during his present state. He needs me.

"Camila? Shawn wants to talk to you." Manny told me after walking into the waiting lounge, making me swallow a lump in my throat. I looked down at my hand that was in Hailey's, and then back at her.

Hailey smiled warmly and let go of my hand. I left my seat and took in a deep breath.

"Hi." I said after opening the door to his room.
"Come here." He said, making me follow his instructions.

I climbed on the bed and he moved to the side, clearing some space out for me. I lightly rested my head on his chest and felt his heart beating under me as his chest rose and fell with his every breath. His hands engulfed me in them, squeezing me tight.

There it is again. The feeling of safety and comfort that I find in his arms. I'll have to let go of this, even if I don't want to.

My eyes teared up again and I nuzzled my face in his chest. I planted a soft kiss on his chest and clutched at his clothes.

"Hey. I'm okay. I'm all okay. Look at me, better than ever, and now I have cool scars to show off." Shawn tried to comfort me, but failed to do so.

He put his hands on my waist and then instructed me saying "Get up." I did so thinking I was hurting him, but as soon I sat up, he placed my thighs on either side of him, making me straddle him, and held the back of my head.

He looked from my eyes to my lips, creating a tension between us.

I want him. Right here. Right now.

I crashed my lips onto his, and began kissing him hungrily. Our tongues explored our mouths and his hands began doing their own little magic.

"Your body can handle this right?" I asked concerned about his current state, making him smile into my lips.

"I've never wanted anything so bad." He said and started tugging at the hem of my t-shirt. I held my arms up to let him take the article of clothing off me. I reconnected our lips as his hands started squeezing my breasts through my bra.

I moved my lips down his neck and began sucking on the soft skin. I quickly found his sweet spot and my teeth began grazing it and teasing him, making the sexiest moans leave his mouth.

"I love you so much." Shawn said pulling my head towards his, to make his forehead touch mine. We both stayed like that for a while, breathing heavily.

I can't do this. I can't lead him on like this.

I moved myself away from him, picking up my t-shirt and putting it over my head.

"Did I do something wrong?" Shawn checked with me.
"No. It's not you." I shook my head.
"What is it?" Shawn pulled me by the hand, making me stumble close to him and causing our faces to get closer once again.
"What is it?" Shawn repeated and kissed my lips softly. I bit my lip to fight back the tears.