faking it ; shawmila ✅

chapter 18

Shawn's POV

{present day}

"Shawn! Oh my God you scared us so much." My mother came crying and hugged me. I put an arm around her and used the other to stroke her head.

I don't want to see her cry. I didn't mean to make her cry. I hate this.

"I'm fine mom, don't worry. Please stop crying." I tried to comfort her.

Dad was crying too, he held my hand that was on top of mom's head, and squeezed it. Him crying really broke me down further.

I'm sorry dad.

"I'm so sorry." I began crying too. "Where's Aaliyah?"

"She's outside." My dad replied.

After an eternity of shedding tears, my mom finally pulled away from me and started kissing my cheeks and my face. "You scared us so much."

"Shawn?" I looked over at the girl standing at the door.
"Come here." I called Aaliyah, who started crying and fell into my arms.

I'm not used to seeing my entire family cry, especially not unhappy tears. It really jolted me to realise how things have changed. This just isn't me.

Once we were done having a small talk about my health, my father proposed to have some time alone with me.

"Shawn what is going on?" He asked.
"I dont know dad. I don't know what my life has become, what I've become. This isn't me. I don't get into fights and act crazy and make you guys cry. I'm so confused." I confessed to my Dad, who was the only person who always managed to get through to me.

"Be honest with me, what was the fight about? I know you; you don't get into silly little fights. There has to be something more to it."
"It was about Camila." I fiddled with my fingers.

"And you think she's worth picking a fight?" He said in a firm tone.
"I'm sorry." I quickly apologised.
"No Shawn tell me. Do you think she's worth fighting for?" He held my hand and persuaded me to answer him.

"She's worth all the fights and the heartbreaks and the tears." I looked away from him.
"Then keep fighting for her."
"What?" I asked in shock.

"Look I know it's crazy for me to say that, and don't get the idea that I'm encouraging you to get into more fights, that's still a no, you're never ever doing that again and I mean it. But Shawn you went this far for someone. You got into a fight, you got beat up so bad that I can hardly recognize you anymore, I've never seen you go this far for anyone or anything. You changed your ways just for one woman, she has to mean a lot to you. Maybe you can even say, she's the one."

His words left me speechless.

She's the one. Camila is the one for me. He's right. She's the one who is meant to be mine.

"How did you know mom was the one for you?" I asked him curiously.
"I didn't..but my dad did. One day I came back home really upset with your mother, so my dad sat me down and said..

"Does she have a maddening power on you?"

She has a hold on me that I can't quite explain but it drives me insane.

"Does she make you do things you dont want to, but once you do them you feel free?"

I tried beating someone up and didn't feel the slightest remorse doing it, and I can never forget all the crazy little stunts we did when on tour.