The Ark Diary of Dylan De Rovia Book One of De Rovia Diaries

And There's no Going Back

Monday October 14th, 2149

Last night was the first time I've slept in two days. Thereg is very well defined like between a joke and assault. For two months I was joke. On that lines been crossed and all I want is to disappear. If there was black hole I would run to it now if it meant I was far from here.

After a medical check friday night I was cleared to go home. I was exhausted but every time I closed my eyes I felt hands on my body. It kept me awake so that on saturday when I was in the guard headquarters identifying my asslents I was numb to it all.

Another sleepless night and Dad who knew what I needed brought Kye over to our house. Mom said friday night that was it. That whatever I thought I had was gone and the she would kill him if he ever came near me again. She was blaming him for it everyone wants someone to blame. I begged her not to do this.

Dad understood when the gaurd was called I was tracked thought the ark.I was tracked to Kitty's apartment where I was sleeping on Kye shoulder. Whatever friendship Kya and I had was gone now we're connected on a deeper level we needed each other now. He made me feel safe and I kept him from doing something terrible again only this time it wasn't to himself but to someone else.

Maybe seeing us had reminded Dad of the night he'd held onto Mom. I was watching from my door. She was more mad then I ever remember seeing her she slapped Kye the moment he stepped into the apartment. Then she moved to slap Dad but she couldn't do it. They've been changed by this to, the air on the ship is heavy with guilt.

He took her hand and pulled her close holding her saying. "She needs him right now."

I was on my bed when he came in he sat on the floor. After two days of people saying this wasn't my fault I finally broke down.

"This is all my fault." I cried into my pillow.

Kye started stroking my hair."No, its not."

"Yes it is." I say in a choking sob. "I'm making everyone angry." The hot tears fall across my face. "If I wasn't on the train that day or if I'd moved then I wouldn't know and all these rumors wouldn't have started and..."

"Shhh," He coos. "This isn't your fault."

He sat with me the whole night and I slept without a nightmare just sleep. That deep dreamless sleep that comes with being pushed to limits. I was just starting to wake-up when my door was opened. Keeping my eyes closed I heard Dad calling Kye's name.

"It's not real coffee but it's hot." He says handing a cup of synthetic caffeine.

"Thanks." He drinks it and I know he wants to get-up. That he has to get to work like Dad like everyone else. Like me I'll have to get up and go outside have people stare and whisper again.

Dad sits on the edge of my bed I feel his eyes on me. "This is my only child. The moment she was born I was I knew my only job was to keep her safe."

"You blame for this I blame me for this. I wasn't strong enough to live without her I thought if just had one conversation it would keep me going."

"I looked at your record when your name first came up with my daughter. Unpaired due to genetic and personality anomalies. Your brother told you didn't he?"

Kye doesn't say the words hang in the air like smoke. "He said I had one possible pairing but I was the one who looked up her name."

"My wife knows what kind of man you are." He pauses I know he's twisting his wedding ring. "We're a good match my wife and I we fit each others lives but we came into it wrong with other people in our hearts. That first year I thought we wouldn't make it."

Kye sighs, "Relationship are complicated bonds forms in the most unlikely ways."

Dad must have held up his hand because Kye stops. "What happen here with you two happen to me and my wife. She came home one day upset. A upper had fathered a upregulation child with girl from the algae farms. The woman tried to end the pregnancy herself."

"I'm not going to do that I would never want to hurt Dylan I love her." He confessions to my Dad and to himself.

My heart flutters at the words, we hadn't said it outloud yet to each other yet. It's too soon, he's not my lover or even my boyfriend at this point. He my protector my friend, whatever I need right now it's what he is.

"I know, son." Dad says son with genuine pride in his voice."But, that night as Maire cired I stayed by her side like you are now. Just so that she would sleep the whole night."

"Keeping the nightmares at bay."

"She's okay with this now accepted that you aren't going to leave her."

"Thank you John."

He stands helping Kye off the cold floor. "We both have the same job now."

Mom knocks on my door, "Come in."

She brings me cup of tea, "Mrs. Sinclar sent it with a note about how sorry she is that all this happen to you."

"Neither of you like this arrangement." I say sipping the warm liquid. Mom took the day off work to look after me.

She nods smoothly, "But we both have made our peace with it."

Leaning on her shoulder I look at her eyes that are troubled this is just one hurdle to her the next one will come in two years. "Thank you. I promise one day I'll tell you why I'm doing this."

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That afternoon after a hot shower I go out in public for the first time. People know my face now and this whole mess is all anyone is talking bout. I'm sure there are people who think this is my fault or that its Kye. Some might think Trevor, that's his name Trevor, took it to far other might think I got what I deserved. I'm going to have to live with that now being judged before by people before they know the whole truth.

Trevor is going to die, for this I know he is. His crime like most crimes are capital offense, since he is eighteen the sentence will be death. Looking on my tablet today I found public forums about it. Most of them agree that he should die. The two others his little brother Owen and his friend Ronnie however are the cause of many debates. They're in lock-up too of course. Their lives ruined in a moment now one of two things can happen. One they could be striped of all rights as citizens and sent to work in the lowers. They will also be taken out of the pairing pool never aloud to father children or be married.

The other is that they too will be sentenced to death. The trail will happen they will be given legal representation who will try persuade Captain the High Council and the low Council into keeping the leniency . I don't want this... all I wanted was... I don't even know what I wanted anymore . The trials going to be terrible the world we live in is complicated there's political faction and public opinion . There been upsets before uppers, middles, and lowers we all want more. Peace is a goal, Gillespie is mission.

I will be asked to give my own input on the matter. I don't want the two boys to die they aren't innocent but they don't deserve to die that's my opinion I'm not going to change it.

I make it to my destination knocking on the door. "Miss. DeRovia."

"Hello Chad are you two busy."

"No come in." He says pleasantly ushering me into the warm apartment.

Standing in the showroom I feel the ghost of myself in the room. "Dylan." Kitty pulls me into a hug. "How are you?"

"Better. I came to thank you both for sheltering me here it was the only place I could of."

They both smile, Chad puts his arm around Kitti's waist. "You are welcome here anytime."

"Good I was hoping I could have that fitting then."