My Mafia Lover | Lai Guanlin ✔

Chapter 61

Mina

It's been a week...

A week since I've actually spoken to someone...

After the day where I revealed the truth to Guanlin, everybody became distant from me.

Even my closest friend, Jiwoo, became distant from me too. She completely stopped bringing food for me and never talked to me ever since.

There was one part where I saw Jiwoo walking at my direction. I felt really happy when I saw her. It almost felt like I'm seeing her after months.

I was going to walk towards her when her head turned at my direction. When her eyes met mine, she quickly walked off to another direction. I wanted to chase after her but she walked away too quickly.

I felt really hurt by her actions. She was like a best friend to me. It's so painful to watch her treat me like someone she never liked.

It makes my heart ache. Especially when I think about those times where we laughed and talked to each other...

After that day, I realised that I should be taking care of myself. Not let others take care of me.

I shouldn't always be depending on people. What if I keep doing that until I can't even stand on my both feet anymore? That's just going to turn my life upside down.

But Jiwoo didn't affect me that much. I felt very sad but not as bad as...someone...

Whenever I think about this person, I would feel really, really sad. It always feels like my heart's going to shatter into pieces.

Most of the time, I would break down into tears. The worst part is, when I start crying, I could never stop.

I kept crying in the day. I kept crying in the night until the next morning arrives. It affected me that badly.

And that person is...

Lai Guanlin.

He was the one who made me smile. Even when I'm angry or sad, his simple actions were enough to make me smile.

He was the one who helped me with tons of things that I can't even count. Especially my nightmares. Without his help, I don't think I would be that happy compared to now.

He was also the one who made me feel special and wanted. He taught me that if I don't exist, life wouldn't be amazing at all.

I won't forget those times where he called me cute and beautiful. It really touches my heart when he calls me that.

It feels so good to be in that state. It felt so great. But now, they turn into memories that you wish you could turn back to.

You'll have this a lot. Especially when you're facing your worst times.

That's what I'm feeling right now, at this moment. He never came to see me at all. Ever since the day I told him about it, he had never stepped into the room. He didn't even bother to come and check on me and the child.

Sometimes I wonder if...he had forgotten about...us...

I felt my heart stuttered at those words. I'm pretty sure that he does. Maybe he doesn't want to see me now. One day, he might come here someday. Who knows?

I hope that will happen, though.

But still, my heart is aching really bad because I couldn't get to see him. It's been only a week but it felt like I haven't been seeing him for years.

I don't know why but...I feel like I'm missing something in my life when he's not with me. Like, I feel really empty without him.

I hate the feeling. I hate how my heart calls  for his name because it's unlikely that I'll see him.