the space station hums with the early morning traffic, the wafting of coffee and fresh croissants filling the air. for the first time, you are not behind your desk, hitting your shins on the weirdly placed piece of metal, but strapping yourself insi...
hello. we haven't talked much apart silent whispers of acknowledgement but i know you see me. i see you too.
you ask me the same question ❝are you okay?❞ ❝yes,❞ i say, the same answer to the same question which is asked everyday.
you smile, a little one which lights up your face and i move on a little happier, knowing i've made your day.
how would you feel if you knew, how i lied to you, neptune? those utterances of yeses, all bundles of tangled lies.
the truth is neptune, i'm not sure if i'm okay. i'm not sure if i'll ever be able to say i'm okay, without adding the bitter touch of a lie.
some days i feel too much, others i feel too little, some days nothing even piques my curiosity.
some days i am happy, others i am sad, some even i feel nothing but the numbness of an aching wound.
so in all honesty neptune, i don't know if i'm okay. i'm stuck in this endless chasm between terrible and good, never too close to one side. so if being okay means living in this eternal agony, then perhaps, i don't want to be okay.
sincerely, she who pens these words
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