Alternate (Phan)

10*Oh, okay

Phil

I woke up feeling something was wrong. My mind was buzzing and I couldn't pick out a solid thought. I pulled my hands out in front of my body and noticed they were twitching. I grabbed the bottle I kept by my bed and downed one of the tablets.

Sometimes I wake up switched. I wake up not as Phil, but a violent, angry and vile person. It's still me, I feel myself controlling this person, but it's as if I'm trying to control a character from a computer game.

I almost stood up, but felt the rage run towards my head. I lied back in bed and decided to rest for a bit longer.

Once the tablet kicked it, I'd be back to myself; that was certain. Until then, I just can't think anything.

'Dan's using you'. Nope.

'Ev is just an inconvenience'. Definitely not.

'The world's a game'. No- well probably, but it's an okay game.

'Even Louise left you'. That's understandable with the situation.

'Dan doesn't actually care about you. He just needed shelter'. That's not true.

'You don't know that'. I don't, but I'm pretty good at judging others' characters.

'Do it, then'. Do what?

'Go check'. Again, what?

'Dan's not there'. God, yes he is brain fuck off.

'Then do it'. ...

'Go check'. Fucking hell I know I should never do whatever this person tells me to do because that gives it any form of control possible. I shouldn't really respond to him, but I have to fight the thoughts somehow, otherwise, all I can do is listen.

I slid my door open, already feeling the tablet kicking in, and made my way to Dan's door. I tapped the metal twice before sliding it open.

'Dan?' I whispered. I received no answer so I propped my head in.

Empty.

'Told you'. Fuck off.

I waited a second, one of three responses was to kick in: I was either going to get extremely mad and destroy everything (if the tablet wasn't in my system yet - although I felt like I was), go into panic purely for Dan and have an anxiety attack running out the house trying to find him (if the tablet had somewhat kicked in), or break down into tears and feel useless (I dunno, probably since I'm an emotional wreck).

I walked over to Dan's bed and moved the covers to make sure he definitely wasn't there - although I doubt he turned into a micro version of Dan overnight. I took a sharp breath, turning around and seeing his bag gone.

Shit!

Holy fucking hell, okay...breathe. I started drumming my fingers against the nails of my thumbs, thinking of what to do. Keep a clear mind.

Okay, grab Ev and take him with you; he's too young to be left alone. I went to Ev's hammock and cradled him in my arms.

Right, put him in a sling around you so you don't drop him. I grabbed a simple sling and wrapped him against my body.

Now, go out the door and walk down the road; the bed was warm, Dan couldn't be too far. Knowing him he probably sat down anyway.