Alternate (Phan)

55*Two hours

Dan

I couldn't bring myself to understand what this meant. I didn't want to think about it. Of course, I'd already put the pieces together.

I didn't know what to do as Phil sat curled up in a ball, tears streaming down his cheeks amongst heart-wrenching gasps for air. I didn't know whether to comfort him, tell him I'm sorry, just leave him. What do you do when your husband finds out you shot his family?

I watched him, so I saw the moment the tears suddenly stopped flowing. He just gulped, looking out into the distance.

I knew he'd switched, but he had a fucking good reason to. I wasn't even going to try and prevent him; anything he did to me I deserved.

'Dan.' he spoke my name in a deathly tone. It was as if he was saying thousands of things in the one word that was addressing me.

'I'm so sorry.' I whispered. He stood up. I held my breath in expectation that he was going to hit me, but instead he just took a few steps forwards and stood there.

I took a breath, standing up and making my way over to him. I carefully placed a hand on his shoulder, offering him comfort. He grabbed my wrist, turning himself around and throwing me into the corner of the room. I groaned, feeling my back against the cold wall.

'HOW COULD YOU?!' I could have explained to him that I was young, brainwashed and scared, but I felt like I was trying to make excuses, 'MY FAMILY DAN! The people who raised me and loved me?! I would never-!' he grabbed the material on the neck of my shirt and lifted me upwards a few inches off the ground, 'ever have fucking fell in love with you! I trusted you!' I felt a fist to my cheek, letting myself take the hit.

He continued for around half an hour before he came back. It was a slow transition, but he did. Phil glanced at me, noticing the state I was in and hurried to my side, bursting out in tears as he held me. I held him back.

'I'm so sorry...sorry. I would have always fallen in love with you, in every universe. I know you didn't mean to shoot them. I've moved on now, I have my new family. I should always have trusted you. But, you shouldn't be trusting me,' if I thought he was in tears before, he showed me a new definition as his eyes became increasingly puffy and his body shook with despair, 'please leave me. I'm awful to you.'

'Phil, you're doing so well. I deserved that-'

'No you didn't Dan! Don't ever say that, you don't deserve anything like that!'

'I'm sorry, Phil.'

He remained in tears for hours, constantly breaking further down. Ev had tried to come up on countless occasions, but I ushered him back down every time.

Phil was broken before, but now he'd been tipped over the edge. And I'd caused it.

I knew by this time he wasn't going to come out of his state within any of the next hours. I'd made up my mind about what to do. I stood up, whispering to him that it was all okay.

'I'll be back with Ev in two hours or earlier. I'm going to go to a pharmacy warehouse and search the shit out of it for your meds. Call me if you need anything at all, even if you just need me back. I love you and please stay safe. Promise me?'

'I promise. Two hours?'

'Two hours. Is that okay?' I asked for confirmation. He nodded.

Nothing seriously awful could happen in two hours, everything would be fine.